Stained Blossom
by Spunky0ne
Summary: After a forbidden encounter with Aizen Sousuke leaves eighteen-year-old Byakuya spirit-locked to the fifth division taichou, a second joining impregnates the noble. Misunderstanding leads to disaster, and Aizen reaches out to the young man. But is their c
1. Obsession

**Stained Blossom**

**(Sorry this disappeared! Edited version will appear here and the unedited will be on AO3 and Aarinfantasy. Enjoy! Thanks for your patience while I restore the deleted work!)**

**Chapter 1: Obsession**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**I watched from a distance, waiting for the right moment to curl my arms around you. An image of white fascination, of silk and fine scent, I could not resist you. So I laid the baited trap and lured you…reached out and captured you…buried myself inside you. But in the exchange, I too, was enslaved. Now we both shall pay the price for that foolish desire, that mistake of passion, that time we cannot forget…**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Welcome, Aizen taichou," said the housekeeper, "Kuchiki-sama is waiting in the gardens. Come this way."

He followed quietly, his heart quickening as they moved out of the entry and through the cool hallway, out onto the wooden walkway and into the sweet smelling gardens of Kuchiki Manor. The housekeeper led him to the patio table, where Kuchiki Ginrei waited, sitting at the table and having tea with his grandson. His eye touched Byakuya briefly, in a flash, noting the freshness of youth, the soft, pale skin, wide gray eyes and calm, quiet expression. He smiled, still sensing the presence of the spirited child beneath that seemingly tamed exterior.

"Greetings, Aizen taichou," said Ginrei, looking up at him, "I was just telling Byakuya about your award ceremony."

"Congratulations, Aizen taichou," added Byakuya.

"Arigato," Aizen said, sitting down at the table.

The server poured him a cup of tea.

"I understand that you just experienced a ceremony of your own, Byakuya," Aizen said to the youth, "I think every noble in existence attended your passage ceremony."

"Well," said Ginrei, his lips curving upward, "it isn't every day that a future clan leader reaches his eighteenth year. We are very proud of Byakuya."

He sipped at his tea.

"I believe you said that you had a request to make," Ginrei prompted him.

"Ah, yes," said Aizen, his eye falling on Byakuya, "I am overseeing a short mission to the living world which will require me to pose as a wealthy businessman. I have a need for an attendant, fukutaichou level to undertake this mission with me, but my own fukutaichou is overwhelmed with other responsibilities. In addition, the mission requires the attendant to be multi-lingual and to have a talent in calligraphy. Ukitake taichou informs me that your Byakuya is capable in both of these areas. Moreover, he looks the part…young, fine features, high intelligence. I was wondering if you might allow me to borrow him for a few weeks."

He almost smiled at the instant reaction in Byakuya's eyes…innocent, of course. He was, after all, young and inexperienced…powerful though he was. And Ginrei had kept the youth carefully near to him. But with his eighteenth birthday passed, he was certain that the elder noble would be likely to consider it appropriate for his grandson to partake of longer and more dangerous missions that would call for him to be more on his own. He was, in fact, counting on this.

"Byakuya?" said Ginrei.

The youth nodded calmly.

"I am willing," he said quietly.

Ginrei bent his head, studying his tea.

"Things are quiet at the sixth division. I believe that it would not be a burden to allow him to accompany you. When do you leave for this mission?"

"I'm afraid we must leave immediately. Fortunately, he needn't bring anything. Everything has been prepared for our trip. I would, of course, have given more warning, had I been able, but…"

"Not to worry," Ginrei assured him, "Byakuya is quite capable of the necessary flexibility required on short notice missions."

"I am glad to hear that," said Aizen, "and I am grateful for the assistance. I do not wish to be rude, but we will need to go. Our transfer team is already in place and just waiting for us."

He stood and Byakuya stood and moved to his side. Aizen felt a twinge in his loins as the youth moved closer. He took a calming breath.

"Again, arigato. I will have your grandson back as soon as this mission is successfully completed."

They took their leave of the noble and flash stepped away from Kuchiki Manor. Byakuya followed in silence as the elder shinigami led him to the senkaimon. They passed over into the living world and slipped into the gigais their attendants provided them with. Then, they climbed into a limousine and sped away. Aizen watched Byakuya out of the corner of his eye, sensing now, the touch of uncertainty in the youth's reiatsu. He smiled bracingly.

"He hardly lets you out of his sight, right?" he queried softly.

Byakuya gazed at him for a moment, then nodded.

"It is customary, considering he is grooming me for clan leadership," he replied.

"But," Aizen said, glancing out the window, "all young people yearn for a bit of excitement, a bit of freedom, ne?"

Byakuya looked down at his hands.

"Of course," he admitted, "but being made clan leader is a great responsibility…a great weight. And it requires the sacrifice of such things, for the good of the clan."

"Hmmm…" said Aizen thoughtfully, as the limousine pulled up to their hotel.

The valet opened the car door and they stepped out onto the entry carpet, and followed it into the richly luxuriant lobby. Aizen kept the young noble at his side as he checked in and they received their keys. They took the elevator to the top floor and turned toward their penthouse suite.

"I booked us into a single suite, because you are acting as my personal assistant. I am a businessman who requires your assistance at all hours, so I will need you to remain close by."

He opened the door and motioned for Byakuya to enter. The noble stepped forward and Aizen followed him into the room. As they passed the sword stand near the door, Aizen picked up his zanpakutou.

"That is Kyoka Suigetsu?" queried Byakuya.

Aizen's lips curled into a smile.

"Yes," he said softly.

He drew the blade and let the young noble admire it for a moment. Then, he raised it, looking as though he planned to return it to the sheath, but instead held it point down and released his shikai.

Byakuya froze.

His smile widening, he quickly gathered the spellbound youth into his arms and carried him into the bedroom. He set him down on the bed and loosened and opened his clothing, laying bare the sweet, white flesh he had been craving for several years. He hadn't dared to touch the youth before, so careful was the watch around him, but having reached his eighteenth year, the controls and protections were loosened and Aizen's power gave him the ability to claim the noble…and soon Byakuya would be his. He leaned over the youth, touching his face and calling his name as he released the hypnosis.

Byakuya looked up at him, blinking and suddenly realizing where he was and how he had been partially undressed. A flush came over his face and he started to sit up. Aizen gently pushed him back down.

"Don't try to get up," he instructed the youth, "You lost consciousness and I loosened your clothing to allow you to breathe more freely."

"B-but…" Byakuya began.

"Hush, now," Aizen went on, "You should rest."

The noble's dark eyes looked uncertain, but still trusting. Aizen looked down at him kindly and touched his face again. Byakuya looked back at him uncertainly.

"A-aizen taichou?"

The brown eyes gazed down into his and Byakuya felt his heart quicken.

"You admitted to me that you long for freedom, Byakuya," Aizen said softly, "I was thinking that while we are here, we might take a bit of that freedom…and enjoy it together."

"How do you mean?" the youth said, his voice filling with hesitance.

"You are about to achieve a position of great power, but in many ways, you are still naïve."

He leaned closer, bringing his lips to the reclined noble's ear.

"You are proven on the battlefield, intelligent and well educated, but your body," he said, letting his fingers slide down the long, soft throat, "your body is still untouched. You are still innocent, Byakuya…and that could become a liability."

"H-how so?" Byakuya said, trying unsuccessfully to sound unaffected.

Aizen smiled.

"Your body wants to be touched, loved, claimed…and your heart will undoubtedly follow it. You want to put your heart in a safe place, with someone you trust, so that it will not be stolen and used against you."

He turned his head and brought his lips to the noble's, capturing them and caressing them gently with his. Byakuya stiffened at the intimate contact, his breath catching. He tried to pull away, but the elder shinigami settled his weight on top of the youth, holding him down and increasing the pressure against his lips.

"Aizen t-taichou! P-please…st…" Byakuya stammered.

He gave a surprised gasp as his awakening arousal was touched by another that was already hard and leaking. Aizen nibbled gently at his throat and ear.

"You feel it, don't you?" he asked softly, "Your body wants mine…and mine wants yours. It's all right for it to be that way. It's quite natural. We are both beings of great power. It is only right that we should find each other and share our passions."

"But the clan rules say that…"

Aizen leaned forward and made his words disappear into a flurry of warm, wet kisses. He thrust his tongue deeply into the noble's mouth, stroking the length of his tongue, teasing it with his warmth until the body beneath his released a soft sigh and relaxed, and the other tongue curled itself lightly around his.

"We won't worry about the rules of your clan for now," he said softly, "Let this be your one indulgence, the one thing they can't take from you. They will rule enough of your existence, young Byakuya, don't let them take this from you too."

He saw the note of sadness in the dark gray eyes and knew he had won the youth over. He sank down into the depths of that sweet, perfect mouth and probed it with a blazing, hungry tongue. At the same time, his hands moved over the tender, white flesh, exploring it with deep, sensuous touches that made Byakuya's eyes close and his body push upward into the hands that caressed it. He moaned so deliciously into the elder shinigami's mouth that Aizen thought he might climax from the sound alone.

But he wanted more…and he was determined to have it…

He pulled the youth up onto his knees and sat facing him. Byakuya gazed at him with hazed, starving eyes and Aizen's swollen member twitched and leaked more furiously. The youth glanced down and blushed. Aizen smiled warmly at him.

"You see how much my body wants yours, ne?" he said softly, "Come closer, then, Byakuya. I want you to put your mouth on me. I want you to taste me."

He moved so that he leaned back against the pillows, watching intently as Byakuya moved closer and lowered himself slowly down in between the elder shinigami's parted thighs. He hesitated for a moment and Aizen felt a shiver pass through the young man's body. He smiled encouragingly and reached out to stroke the noble's hair gently.

"It is a bit frightening at first, I know," he said, reading the youth's thoughts from his expression, "but it is a sign of trust that I allow you to do this…and that you will allow it as well, when you have pleased me. Go ahead, Byakuya…taste it. It is not unpleasant, I promise you."

There was another short hesitation, and he felt Byakuya's breath touch his skin. Then the youth's head lowered and Aizen watched, entranced, as that pristine, untried mouth opened and wrapped around him. Byakuya winced, choking slightly and pulling away, then coughing and gasping. Aizen continued stroking his hair and slowly coaxed him back into position. He proceeded more slowly, more cautiously as he adjusted. Aizen groaned and panted, forcing himself to hold back, so he could watch the lovely sight of Byakuya lowered before him, the dark eyes closing as he pleasured the elder man until Aizen shivered and moaned contentedly.

"Does it taste good?" he hissed, raising his hips.

"Hmmmm…" moaned the youth.

Aizen quivered. He wouldn't last much longer, gazing down at that beautiful face and watching him carefully. Finally, he could hold back no more and loosed his release. Aizen's lips quirked as he felt Byakuya try to pull away, and he choked again and quivered uncomfortably.

"Swallow," Aizen instructed him patiently, releasing him.

Byakuya sat up, still choking and gasping…and avoiding the elder shinigami's eyes. Aizen leaned forward and licked away the bits that had leaked from his mouth, then pushed him down onto his back.

"I apologize, Byakuya," he said smoothly, "I tried to be gentle, but I am quite taken with you. You are a beautiful young man. I was careless and didn't make allowances for your inexperience."

The noble was still avoiding his eyes. He placed his hands on the Byakuya's pretty face and turned his head. The young man shivered, but met his eyes, the flush on his cheeks deepening.

"Don't be embarrassed," he said, lowering himself and pushing the youth's creamy thighs apart, "You will get used to that. You have made me quite content…and I would like to return the favor. May I?"

Byakuya caught his breath and stared for a long moment, then he cleared his throat softly.

"As you wish, Aizen taichou," he said in a voice that was just above a whisper.

Aizen lowered himself between the soft thighs, pushing them farther apart. His tongue found the soft skin of the noble's nether region and teased it, coaxing a soft, longing moan from Byakuya, then he explored the area slowly, listening to Byakuya pant lightly and release his name in a happy sigh.

"Aizen…t-taichou…"

Aizen smiled as he continued, watching hungrily as the youthful body arched and Byakuya moaned his name again, more loudly.

"Aizen…taichou!"

He slipped his fingers into Byakuya's mouth, continuing to pleasure him as the noble gently soaked the fingers in saliva, then released them. Byakuya groaned in protest as Aizen's mouth released him, but was immediately placated as the elder shinigami kissed his way downward, pushing his legs wider and kissing his way downward. He teased the noble with his tongue and Byakuya's body arched again, and he heard the noble gasp. He held on tightly to the writhing hips and continued his manipulations, before pulling away and recapturing Byakuya's mouth in a powerful, mind numbing kiss.

He prepared the young man carefully, hardening again at the sight of Byakuya moaning and writhing fitfully at his touches.

He hadn't meant for their coupling to generate anything lasting. Byakuya was noble class, and would be a clan leader. Any association between them, would be, of necessity, discreet and would end before he was pushed into marriage by the clan. Yet even knowing he shouldn't form an attachment, he couldn't help but love the shift from that calm exterior to the wild, hot youth who responded so eagerly to his affections. He sighed, thinking how Byakuya seemed a lonely youth, separated from his peers, even those noble, because of his place in the clan. He blinked, unable to tear his eyes away as he continued, making the noble cry out in pleasure, emotion erupting across the usually quiet features and turning him from just beautiful to something both lovely and exotic.

He knew that if he made love to Byakuya, looking into that uncontrolled expression, he wouldn't be able to let go when the time came…

So he drew back and turned him onto his stomach, smoothing the long, black hair onto the white skin of his back, pausing to admire the contrast, then positioning himself behind the noble and slowly entering him. Byakuya sucked in a sharp, pained breath and was soothed by Aizen's fingers in his hair and the soft voice that whispered in his ear. There was a pause as the youth's body calmed, then Aizen began a slow, gentle thrusting. Byakuya made a soft, contented noise and raised his hips, moving with each deep, wonderful thrust. Aizen hand pleasured the younger man's hardness in time with their movements as they became more heated and intense. He laid his body along the length of Byakuya's back, and was surprised as a soft sobbing sound issued from the youth. His thoughts were taken away suddenly as Byakuya began to climax and the tightening around him sent him careening over the edge as well. He nearly purred as he released into that sweet, perfect body, then pressed his face to the noble's cheek, lacing together the fingers of one hand and letting his weight settle onto Byakuya's back.

Byakuya rested calmly beneath him, his breathing calm and even. Aizen waited until he was certain that the youth had fallen asleep, then pulled away and left him there. He closed the door to the noble's room and went into his own room within the suite to shower. As the hot water ran down his body, he couldn't stop thinking of how beautiful Byakuya was, how soft…how he sounded when he moaned…how his body quivered as he climaxed. But he kept being nagged by the memory of that sobbing sound…that lonely sound that had come from him just before pleasure had overtaken them. He wasn't sure what it meant.

He sighed and told himself that it didn't matter. They would have this time together and then it would end. And Byakuya would go on to become clan leader and probably a taichou as well. He would have no room in his life for Aizen Sosusuke. So Aizen didn't let himself expect it. He would take what was his and accept the loss later on. It was the way of things.

He turned off the water and stepped out into the bathroom, dried off and slipped into a brown, silk yukata. He left the bathroom and went to the kitchen to make tea. He carried the tea back to Byakuya's room, pausing outside at the chilling sound of Ginrei's voice.

"You know this cannot be tolerated," he said coldly, "You came here as an agent of the Gotei 13 and in full knowledge of your responsibilities. There is no excuse for doing something like this."

"I understand, Grandfather," Byakuya answered, a tremor in the soft reply, "I offer no excuses for my behavior."

"Did he force you?"

"No."

"You did this willingly?"

"Yes."

"And you have no remorse for your actions?"

There was a long silence.

"Byakuya?"

"No…I am not sorry."

He heard the sound of a hand striking flesh and the tea dropped to the floor. He opened the door and stood, staring at Ginrei standing beside the bed, his eyes blazing, and Byakuya kneeling on the bed in front of him, naked and holding a hand to his face.

"This is my fault," he told the furious noble, bracing himself in case Ginrei might decide to attack, but the sixth division taichou just glared at him hatefully.

He turned and threw a yukata to Byakuya.

"Dress," he said gruffly.

He turned back to Aizen.

"If you ever dare to lay a hand on my grandson again, I will kill you with my bare hands. You have no right. You are a peasant…and you have stained his reputation."

"No one has to know," Aizen said softly, "I won't say anything."

Ginrei flash stepped towards him and wrapped an angry hand around his throat. Aizen held still, staring into the furious, dark eyes.

"_I_ know of this dishonor," he growled, "and that is what matters. Stay away from Byakuya…and stay away from me. Do not dare to look me in the eyes again."

He took Byakuya by the hand and led him to the window.

"Wait," Aizen said, quietly, "At least allow me to apologize."

Ginrei bristled, but held still and nodded curtly.

"Byakuya," he said, stepping forward, "I am sorry. I was wrong to tempt you into this, but…"

"Save your apology," the youth said, looking away, "I knew what you wanted. I knew you didn't do this for love. You wanted me and I gave you what you wanted…and that is the end of it."

"If you thought it was like that, then why?" Aizen asked, "Why did you allow it?"

The dark, wounded eyes found his and froze him in place.

"Everyone has to have hope," Byakuya whispered in a broken voice, "even when it doesn't exist."

"And what did you hope for?"

"Enough," said Ginrei, stepping between them, "Come, Byakuya. You must undergo a cleansing ritual. Your mind and body must be purified of this horrid sin."

Without a backward glance, the young noble followed his grandfather out the window and back towards the senkaimon. Aizen Sousuke stood at the window, looking for some time in the direction they had gone, before calmly closing the window and leaving the now-empty room.


	2. The Purification

**Chapter 2: The Purification**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Do what you will. I long to make amends for my transgressions. I understand now that I have fallen, and I seek your forgiveness and a way to set things right. Careful lines were drawn around me long ago, and I did agree to remain within them. I stepped outside, but for a moment, and it will haunt me forever…**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Byakuya…my grandson, my pride, tell me what possessed you to do something like this," Ginrei said in a low voice that hung between sorrow and anger, "Haven't I cared for you since your parents died? Provided everything you needed to grow strong? Haven't I taught you well enough the expectations of one such as yourself? And still…the moment you leave my side, the moment my back is turned…"

"Gomen nasai, Grandfather…please, forgive me," Byakuya said, finally breaking the silence he had held all of the way back to Kuchiki Manor.

Ginrei turned and observed him with a cold eye.

"Now, you show remorse. Why not before?" he asked quietly.

"I never meant to hurt you. It is just that…that…"

He paused, shocked at the feel of tears burning in his eyes.

"I thought that…he said that…it was a kind of freedom. I know it was wrong, but I wanted, just for a moment, to be free of all of this…to do something not laid out ahead of me…to be someone else."

He stood, pale faced and shaking, dressed only in the thin yukata, his eyes widening as his grandfather stepped closer and took hold of the front of his clothes, tightening his fingers until the light fabric tore.

"Why would you ever want to be like the rest of them? Everything is set before you, Byakuya…power, privilege, a great name. Would you rather be like the ones from the Rukongai? Nameless? Looked down on? Having to struggle twice as hard for half the recognition? You have been blessed, but you will not see it. It's right in front of you, but you are blind."

"I can see that I've hurt you…and I am sorry," he said, forcing down the ache inside, "I swear to you…I won't disappoint you like that again. I'll…I'll do whatever you say, Grandfather, whatever I can to make things right between us again!"

Ginrei's brow furrowed deeply.

"Do you hear yourself?" he asked sternly, "You do not consider how you have shamed our house…or how your disobedience has darkened your pure soul, Byakuya. You only make an emotional plea…and you barely manage to conceal the emotion that this wicked act has spawned."

"My apologies," Byakuya said, dropping onto his knees and bowing at his grandfather's feet, "I am sorry for dishonoring our family…and you may punish me as you see fit. I will accept it with a penitent heart."

"You must first be purified of this filthy sin, Byakuya," Ginrei said looking down at the youth's bowed head, "Only then can we see to your punishment."

He thought for a moment.

"We will handle this privately," he said finally, "I shall deal with you myself. You must never reveal to another living soul what happened in that room. It is to be forgotten…and certainly never repeated. And you are never to speak to Aizen Sousuke again."

"As you wish, Grandfather," Byakuya said, holding his body still and bowing at his grandfather's feet.

Ginrei took his hand and brought the youth to his feet, then led him out of the manor and through the gardens. They passed out of the back gate and walked slowly down a moonlit forest trail. They followed the trail far past the blue waterfall, down the cliff and across the meadow. They entered a darker section of forest and followed the winding trail up another set of cliffs to an isolated building that Byakuya had never seen.

"Grandfather," he whispered as they passed through the large double doors, "what is this place?"

He couldn't help but shiver as he looked around and noticed the emptiness of the place, the lack of guards…or other shinigamis, for that matter. It was dark and cold and frighteningly quiet. Ginrei lit a torch and handed it to him.

"Follow me," he said in an icily calm voice.

As they passed into the building, Ginrei's voice rose up softly, echoing strangely.

"This is Itamigiri, the place of honorable pain…where we, of the house Kuchiki, punish our own. Its name is never spoken aloud outside these walls. Let its existence ease your mind in that you are not the first of our blood to sin in such a way…and that there is a way to purify your fallen soul. Come…"

They climbed a long stone stairway, up to the very highest point in the building and passed into a large room at the top of a tower. A chill went through Byakuya at the room's contents…an icy looking pool of water bathed in moonlight, a low table with restraints, a heavy whip and a copy of the family's guidelines for behavior and punishments. Byakuya steeled himself against the fear and followed his grandfather to the blue pool.

"This is the purification pool," Ginrei said in an eerily distant voice, "It will cleanse body, mind and heart of your sin. But be wary. If you enter this pool and do not repent of your sin, then you will die beneath the surface…so do you still wish to enter?"

Byakuya bowed his head.

"Yes, Grandfather, I wish to enter the pool."

Ginrei nodded and removed the yukata he wore, then they bared their feet and stepped into the water together. As Byakuya had expected, the water was freezing, and it numbed his feet almost instantly. Ginrei stood in front of him, reading a prayer of penitence from the family guide, then he placed a hand on Byakuya's forehead and sent a bolt of reiatsu through him. Byakuya's eyes flared and he cried out as he fell backward and sank beneath the surface. Icy water flooded his body, filling him and freezing him in place, with the moonlight washing over the once again placid surface.

He felt Ginrei's eyes on him, but couldn't open his own eyes, nor see beneath his eyelids. His mind disappeared into the chilling depths. He heard awful pealing screams, screams his chest ached to release, but no longer could. He felt chilled through and numb to the core. He hadn't the strength to feel fear or much else. He laid still and felt the moon's cold light fire itself through him from end to end.

Voices slowly began to break through and reach him again. And he knew upon hearing them that they were the voices of his forebears, of Kuchiki clan leaders dead and gone. They gathered around his frozen, silent form and placed their hands on him. He didn't have to feel their touch for it to make him shiver.

"_Why have you done this? Why have you dishonored us?" _they asked him in accusing voices.

He tried to open his mouth to answer, but could make no sound.

"_Why do you turn away from who you are?"_

He felt hot tears on his face and could not move to stop them.

"Look into our disappointed eyes and let us enlighten you…rededicate you, mind, body and soul…prepare you for your future."

He felt their hands touch him, their fingers icy with death, their eyes boring down into him, and their power driving in chilling bursts through his blood. He closed his eyes against the brightness and his mouth opened in terrified screams.

He heard sounds of surprise and dismay and opened his eyes. The water had gone black around him and he could no longer see. Whatever had been holding him released him and he burst out of the pool, coughing and choking. He crawled out and collapsed on the floor at Ginrei's feet, exhausted and shaking. He waited for his grandfather to say something, anything, but the clan leader was silent. Byakuya forced his trembling body to move and his eyes to open. What he saw sent fresh ice through his veins.

Ginrei stood over him with his zanpakutou drawn and held ready to strike. He stared at Byakuya wide-eyed, as if horrified by the sight of him.

"What is it?" Byakuya gasped, panting with the effort of speaking, "What have I done wrong?"

Ginrei remained frozen, his zanpakutou poised over his grandson, his expression one of agonized bitterness.

"Grandfather?" Byakuya whispered, "Grandfather…please…say something. Why are you…doing this?"

Ginrei's eyes lowered to lock on his. Slowly, he returned his weapon to its sheath.

"You triggered a seirei-joumae…a spirit lock."

Byakuya stared at him blankly.

"A what?"

"A spirit lock," Ginrei hissed softly, his reiatsu bristling, "Your spirit cannot be purified, because it has become linked to another soul. When you were with him, your heart opened…and the connection was formed."

"I didn't…"

"It isn't something one wills into being," his grandfather explained, "It is something created at the spirit level. We do not know why they form. What we do know is that it forms of its own accord when open hearts are joined…"

"But," Byakuya whispered in horror, "he never opened his heart to me. He wanted me for physical reasons, reasons of the flesh, for his pleasure, but not for love…Grandfather…it has to be a mistake!"

"The spirit lock is not a mistake, Byakuya. I do not know what made you dare to open your heart to him, nor how one such as him opened his heart to you, even for a moment, but the spirit lock has formed…and there are only two possibilities from this point. If you are allowed to join…heart, body and mind again…then you will conceive your heir. If not…then you will remain childless…and a new heir must be chosen by our council upon your death."

"How can this be true?" Byakuya said, his voice breaking, "I swear I never chose to do this! Grandfather…I…"

Ginrei turned away and started towards the door.

"Don't leave me here!" Byakuya called, surging to his feet and wrapping the yukata around his dripping form, "Grandfather!"

The clan leader flash stepped away.

"Grandfather!" cried Byakuya, running back down the stone stairway, "Grandfather!"

He flash stepped out into the darkness, his body raked with chills and his heart frozen with fear. He ran back down the dark forest trail and flash stepped across the misted meadow. He started up the cliff face, beside the waterfall, grasping wildly and only wanting to move faster. He had nearly reached the top, when a rock he grabbed onto broke free of the cliff. He tried to recover himself, then to flash step, but he missed the landing and started to fall. His mind registered the full moon in the night sky, then pain exploded all around him and he sank into blackness.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Byakuya?"

The voice seemed far away and only half familiar.

"Byakuya…" it called again.

The voice sounded worried…sad…

"Byakuya, please wake…"

He moaned softly and opened his eyes. He squinted at the brightness of the white-walled room, recognizing it as the fourth division. He recognized also the worried face that leaned over him, calling his name again.

"G-grandfather?" he whispered, "Why am I here?"

Ginrei gazed down at him sadly.

"You had a terrible fall. You have been unconscious for several days. Do you remember?"

Byakuya put a hand to his head and groaned.

"No," he said softly, "The last thing I remember is being at the reception after my passage ceremony…I don't even remember going home."

Ginrei gazed at him oddly for a moment then nodded.

"You were walking near the waterfall and fell somehow. You landed in the water and nearly drowned. Then, while you lay here in the healing center, you contracted a high fever. But not to worry…all will be well, now. All will be well."

His grandfather's hand squeezed his affectionately.

"I am glad you have awakened. I worried that we had lost you. It is good you have returned."

"Arigato, Grandfather," Byakuya said, closing his eyes again.

Kuchiki Ginrei sat quietly at his grandson's bedside, considering how fate had assisted him. It had, he thought, been extremely fortunate that Byakuya had not died in the fall. And it had been fortunate that he was nearby and heard the youth cry out as he fell. But the greatest stroke of luck was his failure to remember. It had been easy enough to use the kido spell to block out the offending portion. And no one would suspect, because the loss of recent memory was perfectly consistent with his injury. Now, all that needed to be done was to warn off Aizen Sousuke…

He made certain that Byakuya was sleeping, then left his bedside and walked to the fifth division.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Come in," said Aizen, looking up as Kuchiki Ginrei entered the room.

The noble glared at him sternly.

"I take it this is about Byakuya," Aizen said quietly, "I heard he was awake and seems to be recovering well from his injury."

"He is," said Ginrei shortly, "And I come to warn you anew that you are not to come near him again."

"Actually," said Aizen, "I was listening the first time you threatened me. Is there some reason that you feel the need to threaten me again?"

Ginrei gazed at him for a moment, then continued.

"I was concerned that a snake such as yourself would try to use Byakuya's injury as a way to get to him again, but let me assure you that even if you were to try, he has no interest in you. He understands that you sought him out because he was beautiful, young and desirable. He has been cautioned about falling for such things again and has accepted proper criticism and punishment for his actions. He will no longer have anything to do with you."

"I see," said Aizen, "and I assure you that I have no further interest in Byakuya either. I realize now just what a mistake it was to allow my passions to get the best of me. But as you said, he is desirable…and I was not immune to that. In any case, I believe we have come to agreement. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to prepare for the taichous meeting."

He looked down at his paperwork, but looked up again as Kuchiki Ginrei flash stepped away.

"Ridiculous nobles," he muttered, his reiatsu flaring.

He leaned over his paperwork, trying to focus, but Byakuya's face kept reappearing in his mind. He couldn't forget the feel of that young, powerful body moving with his…the pleasant scent of sakura and the lovely look of abandon as he was taken. But his eyes tightened and he flinched softly as he remembered that odd sobbing sound. He heard it again in his mind and remembered how, on the way to the hotel, it had registered that Byakuya seemed a lonely youth. But…if Kuchiki Ginrei's words were true, then Byakuya wanted that solitude…wanted to hold himself apart…above others.

Anger rose up inside him at the thought…

"Damned nobles," he breathed.

_But I will make my move against the noble families…the Gotei 13…and the unjust system that supports such nonsense…and when I do, I will make the house Kuchiki pay for insulting me…_


	3. The Promotion

**Chapter 3: Promotion**

**(Thanks so much to Shiannah (Is that quickly enough? :) So happy you like the story!), Japser's Girl Forever (Oh yes, Aizen is not a happy man...and he is about to get even more peeved...dangerously peeved! *gulps*), MissLilly2012 (I am liking this version better too. There's something to be said for gaining a couple of years maturity as a writer. It does really help one to grow!), MinaBlueGlass (Sorry about your computer, but I will have this back up and moving on to new chapters in no time! I have some good things planned for this fic!) and Geecee (Thanks for letting me know about the problem with chapter 2. It seems to be fixed now. *crosses fingers*)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**_Some things are more important than memory…the way it feels to look into your eyes, the feel of your breath on my skin, the hope that floods my heart when we are one. But you will not look into my eyes. I am the one you fear. And you only fear me, because what is between us is a truth we cannot escape._**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Ginrei led Byakuya past the still-celebrating guests and into the small training room that had been his until this moment. He looked back at his fully grown grandson and smiled at the lovely sight of him, his hair delicately placed in the confines of the kenseiken, the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu that had been his gift wound just so around the pale, seemly throat and the new haori draped over his shoulders. His dark, gray eyes were focused and serious as he lowered himself to his knees and bowed his head.

"Grandfather…" he said, quietly.

Ginrei knew that Byakuya was not looking forward to this farewell. As ready as he was for leadership, there were still rough edges to the young man that would have to be worn away with time and experience. And leading both Squad Six and the Kuchiki Clan would accomplish that soon enough.

"Byakuya…your promotion ceremony today brought our family great pride. You are the image of what a young, noble lord should be. You have grown out of your disobedience and have settled into the responsibilities your father would have taken on, had he survived. You take these things on at quite a youthful age and we must say our goodbyes now, though I know you do not feel ready. But a position in the Royal Guard awaits me and I look forward to serving our king."

"You make our family proud as well, Grandfather. As much as I shall miss you, I will know you continue to honor king and family with your service. I am content."

"Good," said Ginrei, yielding him a rare smile, "Then I shall take my leave of you with a calm and peaceful heart."

Their eyes met warmly for a moment and Byakuya smiled and nodded.

"I must, however leave you with a final warning. Maintain vigilance always. There will be disturbers of the peace, the ones who break the rules and cause dissent. They would seek to ensnare other powerful ones like yourself to drag along with them. Remember that, as a noble clan, we serve our king within his laws and dictates…and we guide ourselves in our piety through the rules and mores of our clan. Follow the rules and laws closely and you will not lose your way."

"Hai, Grandfather."

"And one more thing," Ginrei went on, his expression darkening, "be wary of Aizen Sousuke."

"The fifth division taichou?"

"Hai. He appears quiet and peaceful on the outside, but I have long sensed something beneath it that does not sit well with me. You cannot avoid interaction, now that you lead the sixth division, but you can certainly confine your interactions to those necessary for your military association."

"But you invited him here tonight."

"I invited all of the taichous. It would have been a direct insult to have left him out. Simply put, by our standards, I was compelled to include him, rather than to insult him publicly. And I will caution you as well to avoid interaction with him, but to also avoid direct insult. He is much like a curled snake, Byakuya. Best to leave him alone and work your way around him carefully."

Byakuya nodded.

"I hear the wisdom in your message and I will see that it is done as you wish," he answered calmly.

"Then it is time for me to go, Byakuya. Farewell…and keep to your promises. I look forward to the day when you shall join me in the spirit dimension and we shall fight side-by-side once more."

"Goodbye, Grandfather," Byakuya breathed as the old man disappeared through the shining doorway.

He watched as the light faded, then rose and studied the place where the door had been. He thought that, perhaps, he should return to the party, but suddenly didn't feel inclined for company. He turned instead, and walked slowly through the gardens, then out the open gate and along the moonlit forest path. It was a way he had gone many times before, grown old, familiar and trusted. He paid his footsteps little mind as he headed for the sakura trees above the waterfall.

He reached them several long minutes later and stood quietly beneath the widespread branches, his eyes fixed on the large, blue tinted moon that filled the sky overhead. He sank into its peaceful light, making himself content with the newfound silence around him, telling himself that he would grow used to the space in his heart where Ginrei used to be…would gradually fill the silence with other voices…perhaps, the girl's voice would console him in his loneliness.

But then…he hardly dared to look at Rukia…

Looking at her brought back the too-recent pain of losing Hisana…the shiver of being on the receiving end of the clan's disapproval…the end of his disobedience, with the arrival and adoption of Rukia. No, he dared not approach too closely, and would see her placed in a squad and sent to train. Having her so close was too much. He chose, instead to bear his solitude quietly.

"Byakuya," said a soft voice, startling him out of his reverie.

He turned and locked eyes with the man his grandfather had warned him about.

"Aizen Sousuke," he said calmly, "Have you become lost?"

Byakuya looked into the other's smiling expression and he felt something flash in his mind.

"_He hardly lets you out of his sight, right?"_

Byakuya flinched.

"No," said Aizen, still smiling at him, "I haven't become lost. I saw you leave with Ginrei and then leave the gardens alone. I thought to have your company for a while."

_"You admitted to me that you long for freedom, Byakuya," Aizen said softly, "I was thinking that while we are here, we might take a bit of that freedom…and enjoy it together."_

Byakuya inhaled sharply and Aizen looked up at him questioningly.

"Byakuya, are you all right?" he asked, sounding concerned.

He furrowed his brow, trying to figure out where it was that he had heard Aizen speak to him that way. He didn't remember…he couldn't remember when it had ever happened. It had the feel of a dream…or perhaps a nightmare.

"Byakuya…if this is about that time in the living world…that night we were together, I did say that I was sorry for letting it happen."

The noble's face paled as the memory swelled and sharpened in his mind. He could feel Aizen's face close to his…his hands on bared skin…tongue thrusting deeply inside his mouth…fingers touching him where no one else had ever dared.

And he hadn't remembered…

Something had stolen his memory…

Something…or someone…

"You…" he whispered, his face going even more pale.

"Yes…" Aizen admitted.

Byakuya realized suddenly that Aizen had stepped forward and he tried to step back, only to encounter the tree behind him. The fifth division taichou's hand caught his face and came closer.

"You're blushing," he said, leaning forward, "You are a beautiful young man, Byakuya."

His mouth closed over the stunned noble's and Byakuya felt his legs weaken beneath him. He knew he should move…should push him away. He should do something besides stand frozen. He had never frozen on the battlefield, no matter how frightening the enemy. So why, he wondered, could he not make his limbs move? Why did his heart beat so hard that he thought it would explode? Why did it feel so good for this man's mouth to so deeply explore his? Why were his own arms betraying him and wrapping around the other? Why was he kissing him back?

Shock flooded his body and he flash stepped free. He reappeared at the edge of the cliff, beside the waterfall. Aizen watched him curiously and waited for him to say something. Byakuya remembered that he had been warned about this man. Aizen Sousuke was dangerous and must be avoided. And given what he remembered…how the man had taken him to the hotel in the living world to deprive him of his innocence, he found his anger boiling up inside.

_I thought it was something meaningful…that when he said that I should put my heart in a safe place, that he was offering one. He wasn't supposed to be the one to do the very damage that he warned me to expect from others. I failed to consider that he might be using me!_

_I must admit that I did, in fact, enjoy the intimate beauty of being held tightly and kissed so deeply. And though it made me blush then…and it still makes me blush to remember, I did enjoy the taste of that man's flesh. I liked the feel of taking him in my mouth…as he said, a sign of our trust. I thought that his face was beautifully lit with emotion at being pleasured by my mouth…and I hardly minded the sudden, hot flow of thick fluid I didn't known how to swallow properly. In fact, everything up to my taking was perfect._

_But then...that strange look on his face. I'm not sure what caused it, but now, remembering that look, oh...oh gods, I remember more!" _

He remembered the pain that had shot through his heart when the man turned him and took him from behind.

_When one is beloved, his lover would only take him, looking deeply into his eyes. _

The pain had been so sudden and staggering that he couldn't stop the cry that escaped him. Aizen hadn't even hesitated. Being so into taking him, the bastard had just kept on…as if not hearing…as if not caring.

And now that he remembered, the pain was returning…

"Leave me alone," he gasped, trying to flash step past.

A hand caught his arm and a moment later, the two were tumbling to the ground together. It didn't hurt to fall, but he was left breathless for a moment, and then Aizen's mouth found his and his head spun. He pushed against the other's chest forcefully, but couldn't budge him. Aizen seemed unnaturally strong. A hand found his wrists and locked them in a strong, binding kido above his head. Then Aizen's hands roamed everywhere, loosening his clothes and slipping beneath them, touching him…finding his swelling arousal and noting its silent betrayal, then rewarding it for its disobedience with slow, languid strokes. He arched his body and tried to twist free, but moving so only brought him into more intimate contact with the body above his. He shook with rage as the hand around him stroked him harder and faster and he lost the breath and the will to resist.

It was then that he remembered the Seirei-Jomae…the spirit lock that his grandfather had been so angry to find between them. And he remembered the warning. If he opened his heart to Aizen and Aizen did the same, they would conceive his heir.

He was instantly shocked back into resistance. He threw his weight against the kido holding his hands and shattered it. His face darkened with fury, he tore himself free and rolled to his feet. He stood with his chest heaving, his heart racing wildly and his hardened member still aching for completion. Aizen climbed to his feet and stood opposite the noble, observing him carefully.

"How dare you touch me…you…you…"

He stopped, his breath catching.

"You…peasant! Get out of here!"

He didn't wait to see if Aizen obeyed the order, but turned back and flash stepped all of the way back to the manor. He stopped at the gate, realizing suddenly that his clothing was in disarray and he was obviously very aroused. He stood in the cold darkness, setting himself back in order and realizing suddenly that his ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu was gone. He swallowed hard, looking back the way he had come, but didn't dare go back for it. He nearly jumped out of his skin when a flash step sounded beside him and the soft material dropped suddenly around his shoulders.

"You forgot something," Aizen said softly in his ear.

Byakuya grabbed the scarf and wound it into place, then took a breath and turned back to Aizen.

"You were invited to my home as a guest, but you have acted dishonorably. I want you to leave, Aizen Sousuke. Leave and don't come back!"

The older shinigami's eyes darkened.

"So…you truly do hate me for what happened. Or maybe it isn't even that. Maybe it's as you said…I'm a peasant. I shouldn't dare to touch such a pristine, angelic body like yours…I might dirty it."

"Just…go, Aizen Sousuke," Byakuya said, hating the desperation in his tone.

He breathed a sigh of relief as the elder shinigami merely nodded and turned away. He stopped just inside the gate and looked back at Byakuya with malevolence that sent chills through him.

"You seem to think like the rest of them now. Back then, I thought you were different. That's why I wanted you. But it was a deception. You are just like the rest of them. And someday, you will pay for that…"

He turned and disappeared, leaving Byakuya shaken and alone. He gathered himself and returned to the party, where he joined the staff and wished his guests a good night. And after the last was gone, he returned to his room…the room that had been Ginrei's before his departure.

He waited in the dressing area as his servant undressed him, then wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped into the bathroom.

"You are dismissed," he said to his attendant, then watched as the youth bowed and left, and locked the door behind him.

He stood under the hot rush of water, his mind spinning helplessly and his body still rebelling against him. He couldn't rid himself of the feel of Aizen's mouth on his…the feel of those hands slipping beneath his clothes and stroking him so skillfully. And now that he remembered their lovemaking, he couldn't stop feeling the mouth that had wrapped around his length…that had moved slowly up and down, or the fingers that gently prepared him…or the feeling of being filled.

He wanted badly to hate the man. And he did feel anger, because he had done those things falsely…with no intent that it should mean anything. But it did mean something. He knew it must. That Aizen had tried again to make love with him out by the waterfall, beneath the stars and that beautiful moon. It had to mean something. That it might not, hurt him with unexpected ferocity. But in the absence of the one who had caused the pain, he couldn't connect with the anger. He could only feel the hurt.

The hurt burst out of him in a choked sob. It ran down his face in streams as he held himself silent and let the tears fall. He hadn't known another person could cause him this kind of pain. It seemed that it hurt worse even than the pain he had felt so recently when Hisana died. But he and Hisana had shared mutual love. And though her illness had prevented them from having children, they had made each other happy. Now, he was without that happiness and saddled with a longing for a man who he sensed could very well destroy him. He knew in his mind that he could not afford to let himself fall for Aizen Sousuke, but his body and his heart ached fiercely with rebellion. His heart raced furiously beneath his breast and heat seethed beneath his skin as he stood wanting desperately to be touched…to be held and kissed…by the very man he dared not love.

"Sousuke," he said in a trembling whisper.

His member throbbed with just the name…

His hand slid down his body, as though of its own accord and wrapped around his length, stroking up and down as Aizen's hand had only a short time before. He could almost feel that mouth on his, that hot, demanding tongue, thrusting into his mouth and exploring every inch inside. He gasped at how good it felt to remember…to imagine…to touch himself that way. He could almost imagine that the man was in the shower with him, pleasuring him in that gentle, but powerful way he had before.

He caught his breath as hot seed pulsed out of him and released it in a sound between pleasure and pain. He both loved and hated the way it felt…both longed for and reviled the one whose face and voice haunted him as pleasure took him. Overwhelmed, he slid slowly down the wall and sat, curled, letting the water rain down to hide the tears and soft cries…and promising himself that it was the last time he would ever allow himself to fall in love.


	4. What Cannot Be Said

**Chapter 4: What Cannot be Said**

**(Thanks so much to Sariniste (This is one from pretty far back and I am making changes to improve the story, keeping Aizen more in character than in the first version. Glad you are enjoying it...and I will have more Aizen to publish. I can't wait until his birthday in May!), Aurelia Cotta (I'm so glad you like it! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!), Jasper's Girl Forever (Yeah, me angsty these days!), MinaBlueGlass (I missed writing on it too. Thanks for reading!) and Geecee (We always love to see Aizen play with our unsuspecting Bya, don't we?) Enjoy the chapter!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**This is what you longed for…to see my body bowed in torment, my limbs shaking with fear and my lips delirious with anguish. You stayed close so you wouldn't miss seeing me fall apart. Yet, you looked surprised as I broke into pieces, as the walls around me crumbled and you suddenly realized that you never really knew me at all. Your hands moved to put the bits back together, but they only exploded into cold grains of sand…**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"You're late, Gin," Aizen said quietly as the silver-haired taichou joined him in the Central 46 chambers.

They walked past the carnage of the massacred councilors and into an office beyond.

"You know," said Gin, "You really ought to clean up that mess you made. They're starting to decay."

Aizen's expression didn't change.

"They were already rotten inside…fouled with arrogance and superiority. And besides," he said, looking back into the blood spattered room, "I like looking as I go by. Some of them died before the belligerence left their faces, before they abandoned their aristocratic expressions and actually showed fear."

Gin paused for a moment, studying Aizen's calm countenance, then glancing back behind him again.

"There is a great deal of venom in what you do, Sousuke. You actually hate these men that you didn't even know. You hated them enough to kill them, not knowing."

Aizen's calm smile wavered.

"I don't hate them so much as what they supported…touting civility and a dependence on laws and morals, but applying them with anything but fairness. There was nothing 'just' in the actions of these justices…holding themselves above and apart…pretending to be protectors of peace, but really they were agents of oppression. And the ones who dared to question were punished for impudence…for being liberal of mind."

He gazed into the dead eyes of the councilors and sighed softly.

"These are the lucky ones, Gin. They have their reprieve. They can't be tormented and made to pay for what they've done."

"You save that fate for the nobles, ne?" Gin went on, "Speaking of which…Kuchiki taichou was rather depressed today. I was nearly able to coax him into fighting Zaraki Kenpachi."

"Really," said Aizen, his eyes meeting Gin's questioningly.

Gin nodded.

"Zaraki and I merely expressed concern to our colleague that he might be depressed over the death sentence handed down for his sister."

"And what did he say?"

"He said peasants wouldn't understand the feelings of nobles. He was really quite rude, which made Zaraki taichou belligerent, which nearly made them come to blows."

"Hmm…not much can elicit that much emotion from Byakuya. That _is_ odd."

"Yes. It was lucky I managed to drag Zaraki taichou away or someone might have died."

"Just as long as it isn't Byakuya. I want him to live. I want him to witness the uprising of the ones they stepped on, the massacre of the noble families and the throwing down of their wretched, useless king. I intend to make them understand that power is not contained in a noble name, but in a man's destiny. And wherever he comes from, the one who is strong enough will shake the heavens and make that place his own…name or no name."

Gin shook his head softly.

"They really pissed you off by not respecting you for your powers, ne?"

"What do you mean, Gin?" Aizen said with calm sarcasm, "I was made a taichou, was I not?"

"Hmm…only because you hollowfied a few taichous, who then had to be replaced. Otherwise, who knows how long we would have languished as their fukutaichous…"

"Enough…I want you to stay here and manage things for a while. I have something to do."

"Oh, very well," sighed Gin, "I guess you do need to get out on occasion, especially given the dramatic exit you're about to make."

Aizen didn't answer, but disappeared in a flash step, leaving a bemused Gin looking after him. He waited until he was outside, then drew his zanpakutou and made himself invisible to others. He flash stepped through the darkened streets until he reached the sixth division, then slipped in through the doors as Abarai Renji returned from an errand.

"Oi, Taichou, you're still here?" he said, not quite meeting the noble's eyes.

"There was still work to do."

"Would you…like me to make some tea for you, Taichou?" Renji asked, looking a bit worried.

"Yes, Renji…then you may go home," Byakuya answered quietly.

Aizen watched Byakuya pore over the paperwork as Renji made the tea. The fukutaichou returned some time later and set the tea at Byakuya's elbow.

"Here you go, Taichou."

"Arigato, Renji."

Renji gave him a troubled smile, then prepared to leave. He stopped at the door and looked back at Byakuya.

"Taichou…"

Byakuya looked up at him.

"Taichou, I'm sorry about…about Rukia's sentence."

Byakuya stared at him in silence.

"Look, I know you won't say anything, but I feel that you must be sad about it too. You don't have to say anything, but…"

He left the words hanging.

"Good night, Renji," Byakuya said, his voice a shade softer.

"Good night, Taichou."

Byakuya's eyes remained fixed on the door, even after it closed behind his departing fukutaichou. He stared ahead vacantly, unaware of the eyes that watched him, then finally looked back at the papers on his desk. He sighed softly and rested his face against an open palm, trying to focus on his work, but distracted. His eyes rose to glance at his tea, then he sighed and climbed to his feet. He crossed the room and stood by Renji's desk, looking down at it and contemplating for several long minutes. Finally, he loosed another sigh and slipped a hand into the back of one of the drawers and pulled out a glass bottle. He sipped at the tea to make room in the glass, then added the liquid and drank more deeply.

Aizen watched curiously, unable to remember ever seeing Byakuya consume liquor of any kind and curious as to how he might be affected. After he refilled the teacup several times, Aizen realized that Byakuya had no idea how to moderate…or that the effects took time to peak. Worried he might actually hurt himself, the fifth division taichou waited until he set the bottle down, then reached around Byakuya and knocked it over. It fell into the wastebasket and emptied itself into the bottom. It seemed to go unnoticed by Byakuya, who had dropped into Renji's chair and was resting his head on his arms and groaning as the dizziness set in.

_He said peasants wouldn't understand the feelings of nobles._

"Okay, Byakuya," said Aizen in the noble's ear, "Why don't you explain it to me now? Why are you so tormented? She's only your sister by adoption…only a peasant you picked up and brought home because she looked like your late wife…a redeeming fact, but not wholly convincing. And yet…Hisana was a peasant. Do you have a soft spot for strays or could it actually be that there is a noble who doesn't think he's too good to find love outside of a noble house?"

Byakuya gave another pained groan and surged to his feet, upsetting Renji's chair. He took a staggering step, then gathered himself and left the division office without turning off the lights or locking the door. Aizen followed him through the darkened streets and back to Kuchiki Manor. They passed through the entry, Byakuya managing to give a normal greeting to the housekeeper, before turning towards his bedroom and informing the scrambling attendant that he wished to be alone. He closed the door behind him and leaned back against it for a moment. Then, his face paled and he flash stepped to the bathroom, falling to his knees and emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He fell back against the wall, his face an ungodly white. He put his face in his hands, moaning and slowly sank the rest of the way to the floor.

Shaking his head, Aizen knelt next to the unconscious noble and patted his face. The dark, senseless eyes opened and looked up through him in confusion, then closed again.

Right…you can't see me…

He lifted Byakuya's upper body and slowly removed the kenseiken, then unwound the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu from around his shoulders. He released the tie at the noble's waist and undressed him the rest of the way, then sat, holding him and gazing down at the lovely, white flesh he had uncovered.

Kami, what I'd love to do to that sweet body! What I did before was just the beginning. I can imagine so much more…

He shook his head and stood. He disrobed slowly, his eyes meandering over the beautiful body that lay senseless at his feet. Fully naked, he lifted Byakuya, coaxing him into semi-awareness enough to set him back on his feet, then turning him towards the shower. He held Byakuya, the noble's back rested against his chest, and let the water bring life back into him. Byakuya shifted slightly and sighed, but still seemed not to connect with the fact that he was being held by someone who he couldn't see. He made no moves, nor sound as Aizen slowly washed the glowing, white skin, then the silken black hair. He stood for a long time after, with Byakuya rested against him, letting his hands explore the noble's body.

Then, the simple exploration started to feel like it wasn't enough…

He let his hand slide down the long, slender torso and wrap around, his fingers moving down and playing over the hardening erection that rose out of a nest of black curls. Byakuya moaned and sagged against him. Aizen rested his face against the noble's and began moving his hand up and down the long shaft, turning his head slightly to brush his lips against Byakuya's face.

Byakuya's body flinched and tensed and he pulled away, staggering, then shaking his head and looking around in confusion. He paused, for a moment, registering where he was, then turned off the shower and stepped out into the bathroom, sighing as he realized he had forgotten to bring in a yukata. He reached for a towel and slowly dried away the moisture, then stepped out of the bathroom and into the dressing area. He slipped into a dark red yukata and opened the doors to the garden.

Aizen dried off and slipped back into his clothes, then followed Byakuya out the garden doors, then down the walkway to a candlelit room that bore a small shrine. The noble knelt before a picture of Hisana and stared at it silently, the fire reflecting in the dark centers of his eyes. Aizen watched quietly as the dark eyes blinked slowly once, twice, then closed.

"I don't know what to do," he whispered, "I know that I made you a promise…to find her, and to take her as my sister. I did that, but I haven't been able to do right by her since. I sent her to train in Ukitake taichou's squad. I knew he would treat her with respect…even affection…and that was better than I was able to offer her. It's not that I don't care for her. I care too much. I can't look at her without thinking of you. But even as I tried to do the right thing by placing her in that squad, I set her on the path to the trouble she is in now…and today, I stood by and let her be convicted…sentenced to die. Hisana, I know now why you were taken from me. I never deserved someone like you. I have always had to put nobility and duty before everything…and now, because of that, I'll watch this last part of you die before my eyes…and I'll never forgive myself for letting it happen. But I can't stop it. I cannot go against the law…not even for her. And it's not just because of the clan rules."

He paused and took a breath.

"A long time ago…I broke the rules and I gave myself to someone who I thought cared for me. In doing so, I opened my heart…and for some amount of time, he opened his. It was enough to trigger the Seirei-Joumae. Our spirits were locked together and my body was made ready to conceive the heir. But his heart closed again…and we were discovered. Ginrei nearly took my life, rather than to accept what we had done. I was injured that day…and for a long time I didn't remember. It wasn't until after you were gone that the memory returned and I realized that my disobedience was why you and I were childless. My breaking of the rules cost me the comfort of having a child to hold after you were gone. And now, I will lose this last comfort, this last bit of you…a fate I deserve for failing you so badly. I thought to make your life better by bringing you here and giving you my heart, but this is punishment, because my heart was already given to that other…and fate is working to take away the happiness I don't deserve. I am sorry. Hisana…I didn't know. I didn't know that when he made love with me…that I was made his…and now our fates are tied together. I won't go to this one who despises me…so there will be no heir…no one to carry on my name or to take my place. My father's line will end with me. And as I failed you…I will fail them."

He trailed off and his body shivered and sagged again. He climbed to his feet and turned back towards his room, holding a hand to his head and groaning. He collapsed onto his bed, leaving the garden doors open so that the moonlight streamed into the room. Aizen followed him to his bed, watching him flinch and groan uncomfortably, then sat down beside the senseless shinigami, pondering what he had learned.

A Seirei-Joumae…a spirit link? We opened a spirit link? How is that possible? I knew, of course, of the existence of such a thing, but I've never known it to actually happen. And now he can only bear a child with me…

He gazed down at Byakuya curiously.

He said that he was made mine…

It couldn't work out and he knew it. The damage was already done and everything laid in place for their departure. It was too late to stop…or to consider taking the noble with them. No, things must be left to proceed as they had been planned. _But_, he thought to himself, _I can certainly make sure he lives…so that after the king has fallen, when I have become the ruler of the three worlds, I can make him my consort. And I can give him back what I took when I made love with him that night. And actually, it's better this way. He won't have to be made a traitor. Instead, he'll be rightfully mine when my opposition falls, and he will never be disgraced for being mine._

He smiled and gently tucked the semi-conscious noble into bed, then slid underneath the covers next to him. He kissed Byakuya warmly on the mouth and opened his yukata.

"I misunderstood you, Byakuya. I misunderstood a lot of things, and I think you did too. You belong to me…and I to you…and someday we'll be together. For now, I offer this as a token of my love," he whispered.

He laid his body on top of Byakuya's, parting the noble's thighs and carefully preparing him. Byakuya gazed up at him with deeply hazed eyes, only making a soft incoherent sound of pain as he was entered. He shook softly and his hands tightened on Aizen's arms as the fifth division taichou began to thrust into him. The dark eyes tried to focus, tried to see, but were still misled by the power of his zanpakutou.

"What's happening?" he whispered dazedly.

Aizen kissed away the words and sank deeper into his body, holding him tighter and moved by the distant, lost look in his expression.

"Shh, my love," Aizen whispered, nuzzling the slender, graceful throat, "Close your eyes. You are only dreaming."

But, dream or no dream, Byakuya was moving with him, arching up into his body, closing his eyes and letting the pale hands follow the curves of shoulder and back. He moaned heatedly as Aizen's hand wrapped around his length, moving up and down in time with his thrusts and leaving them both sweating and breathless.

"This is a dream?" Byakuya whispered, blinking slowly and trying again to focus.

"The sweetest of dreams," Aizen answered, kissing the noble's lips and thrusting harder into him.

He waited until they had begun to climax together, then, locked in mutual release, he let the power of his zanpakutou fade. And in that moment of complete bliss, their eyes locked.

"Now I know this has to be a dream…" Byakuya panted, the twinges of pleasure still rocketing through his body, "Aizen Sousuke would never take me while looking into my eyes."

Aizen smiled and placed a hand on his face, sending him off to sleep with a gentle throb of reiatsu.

"Yes, Byakuya," he whispered, kissing the pale, sleep, softened lips, "for now, it is a dream…but we will make it a realty. We will."


	5. Death Spiral

**Chapter 5: Death Spiral**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**They told me you were gone, but as the words left their lips, I knew it could not be true, because we are connected at the heart…and my heart would shatter if you were gone. I ran to that place to feel again the warm surrender of my soul to yours. But all that was left was silence. And all that I felt was solitude.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Taichou…" Renji's voice said, bringing Byakuya awake with a start.

He froze, pain cracking across his forehead and blazing through his eyes. He felt a hand settle onto his shoulder, steadying him, and heard Renji whisper something to his attendant. There was a hesitation, and the sound of a door closing, then they were left alone.

"What are you doing here?" Byakuya asked, placing a hand on his head to stop the awful pain.

Renji smiled at him gamely.

"I thought that maybe you might not want it to be generally known that you were drinking last night."

"Wha…?"

"Come on, Taichou…I'm a lot of things, but I'm not completely stupid," said Renji, "You got into the stash in my desk and drowned your sorrows…hey, I get why you would need some kind of relief, but you should have told me. You shouldn't drink alone…especially when you don't usually drink at all."

"Renji, what are you going on about?"

"Okay fine. You don't want to talk about it. I get it. But you need a little help getting back on your feet. I knew you would, and that's why I'm here."

"Abarai," Byakuya said, "I do hope that, at some point, you are going to start making sense…"

Renji laughed softly.

"Right," he said, shaking his head, "I'm the one not making sense."

He turned as the door opened and the attendant stepped into the bedroom. Renji turned and accepted the cup from his hand.

"Arigato," he said, nodding, "He'll be fine now."

"You may go," the noble told his attendant.

He made a face and groaned as an odd scent reached his senses.

"Abarai, I don't think I even dare ask what that is."

Renji laughed again.

"Yeah, don't ask. Just hold your nose and drink it quickly. It is nasty, but it will get you back on your feet and will cure that headache."

"I'm not touching that. Get out of here."

Renji frowned.

"Okay, but you're going to really hurt for it later. I'm telling you, Taichou, it really helps. Just…hold your breath while you drink it."

Byakuya looked at the odd, murky concoction and felt his stomach pitch, but, in absence of any practical knowledge to help him cure his hangover, he decided to trust his fukutaichou. He closed his eyes, held his breath and downed the horrid liquid, them dropped the cup and placed a hand over his mouth, trying desperately to hold it down. Renji looked on with sympathetic eyes and Byakuya didn't know whether to be touched by his obvious concern…or to kill him for even suggesting he subject himself to this assault on his senses. Too aware that it was his own foolishness that had put him in the situation he was in, but too proud to admit it, he settled for cold silence, but yielded Renji a look of tentative gratitude as his stomach settled and he realized that the headache was already easing.

"Better?" Renji asked calmly.

Byakuya nodded.

"Get out of here, Abarai," he said, only half-sincerely, "I will see you at the office after I make myself presentable."

Now Renji laughed whole-heartedly.

"See…I told you you'd be yourself in no time," he grinned.

He disappeared out the door, leaving the flushed taichou in his wake. Byakuya slowly dragged himself to his feet and stumbled to the dressing area. He still wasn't sure what it was that Renji had brought him, but he did feel the sickly sensation leaving him and normality returning to his body. He silently promised himself that he would never touch an alcoholic drink again. As much as it had dulled the pain, it wasn't worth the after-effects. And besides, there was no erasing the cause of the original pain.

He sighed and settled the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu around his shoulders, but couldn't manage the kenseiken with his hands still shaking. He called in his attendant and stood quietly as he worked the headpiece into his hair, then departed for the sixth division.

As he walked, he tried to work out what he remembered about the night before. He did remember going to Renji's desk and drinking, but his memory faded after that. He knew that, at some point, he had sensed another person with him. He wasn't sure if the memory of showering was real, but he was reasonably sure that the odd stickiness between his thighs meant that whoever it was had very low moral standards to have taken advantage of him in such a condition. But he wasn't going to bemoan his fate. He had been reckless and careless. He rather deserved it.

Still…he had to wonder who it had been…

He considered it carefully as he reached the sixth division and walked past Renji and his sympathetic grin. He ignored it, and in fact, ignored Renji and everyone else as he worked at his desk for the next several hours. He gave Renji an evil stare as his fukutaichou handed him one more cup of his dreaded cure, but downed it without comment and turned back to his work.

He dropped his brush when the memory of Aizen's face returned to him. He felt Renji's eyes on him and picked up the brush again, returning to his work with a flush on his cheeks. He was sure he had to have been dreaming. Aizen Sousuke had carefully avoided him since the incident at the manor on the day of Ginrei's leaving and his promotion. It couldn't have been…but the more thought he gave it, the more it seemed he remembered the warmth of the arms that had held him, the mouth that had plundered his…and he had been taken with such gentleness…

"Taichou, you upset your inkpot."

Byakuya sighed and started to clean up the mess. He knew he had to be imagining things. It couldn't have been Aizen Sousuke…

He continued to mull it over in his mind as he left for the taichou's meeting. He thought about it as he stood, waiting for the captain commander with the other taichous. He thought he felt Aizen's eyes on him, but didn't dare look at him directly. He stood perfectly still, trying to ignore the feeling of being watched, and waited. He barely heard the contents of Soutaichou's message and turned to leave quickly when the meeting ended.

"Kuchiki taichou," said Aizen's voice, "may I walk you back to the sixth division? I'm going that way myself."

To not accept would be an admission, he thought, so he nodded and tried to force his body to relax as Aizen fell in next to him.

"Are you feeling better?"

He couldn't stop the flash of heat that raged across his cheeks.

"I am well enough."

Aizen smiled.

"Good. I was a bit worried. I hope you weren't offended that I accompanied you home…"

Byakuya couldn't think of an answer.

"I am a bit ashamed of myself for…well…not being able to resist…"

Byakuya stopped walking and turned toward him. He still had no idea how to answer.

"Don't worry," the other said, gazing at him affectionately, "I promise that it will remain between us, Byakuya…and I won't expect anything of you. I know you weren't in your right mind, so you probably didn't mean it anyway. It's all right. I enjoyed being with you."

He didn't know whether to be furious or relieved as Aizen turned away and left him there, speechless and staring. He couldn't get the blush off of his face and throat for the rest of the day.

XXXXXXXXXX

He was distracted from thinking about Aizen as the days passed and Rukia's execution grew closer. Dread had settled into his heart and was a constant weight. He couldn't make peace with the fact that Rukia was going to die…and that he was helpless to stop it.

He couldn't go against the rules…

He couldn't stop her execution….

He dared not go to visit her. Instead, he threw himself into his work, trying as he did to ignore Renji's growing restlessness and anger. He had approached Byakuya more than once, subtly trying to draw him into helping Rukia. He didn't seem able to understand the forces that bound his taichou's hands. No one seemed to understand…but he knew that a lot of people were talking about it. How cold he was…and how he had no feelings. He could have done something to stop them, but he couldn't let them know his heart was wavering. The rules were clear…and he was a defender of order in Soul Society. To break with the rules would set an example that could lead others to do the same. And even though the very thought that Rukia was going to die tormented him, he felt that there was no action he could take. He was bound fast. But the ropes seemed to be invisible to everyone but him.

The council of elders, of course, supported him…but it wasn't encouraging to him that the same group who had opposed his marriage to Hisana, now supported the execution of her sister…his sister. It only made him feel more sick inside.

The only solace he seemed to have, was found in a very odd place. Every time they locked eyes, it seemed that Aizen' Sousuke's eyes registered his pain. And each time their eyes met, it seemed that the pain eased, if only slightly. He hadn't forgotten, of course, that the fifth division taichou had been with him the night he had gotten so drunk. But Aizen had been kind enough not to mention it again after that.

Still, as much as he was glad not to have been pursued further, Byakuya was drowning in solitude. And finally, he decided that he just couldn't bear it anymore. He waited until he was alone in the office and summoned a hell butterfly. He whispered into it and was about to send it on its way, when an alert sounded, calling all taichous to a place near the fifth division.

He couldn't make sense of the feeling of dread that passed over him as the message rang out…as he rose and flash stepped to the given location…as he slid to a stop and stared up at the impaled form suspended on the wall by his own zanpakutou. All he knew was that the last support holding him together gave way and it was all he could do to stand quietly, trying not to look up at Aizen Sousuke's dead body. It couldn't be real. He couldn't just be gone like that. Of course, it wasn't the first time Byakuya had lost someone suddenly. His father's death had been sudden. Sometimes, things happened that way. There was nothing he could do about it. So, he stood in silence until he was excused…and then he ran…

He flash stepped to the senkaimon and passed over, into the living world. He ran down the streets, flash stepping so fast that it registered in the air around the humans. He didn't actually plan to go anywhere, but then, he wasn't surprised when he found himself slowing and coming to a stop at a large hotel. In shinigami form, he passed through the walls and made his way to the unoccupied penthouse suite. It was much as he remembered it, as though time had stopped that day. In his tired, confused mind, he tried to resolve whether it was a good thing or a horrid thing they had done. It had certainly been sweet and beautiful to be taken with such gentleness. But then…Aizen hadn't looked him in the eyes. And that other time they had been together, their eyes had locked…but Byakuya had been in a reduced state and Aizen had taken advantage of him. Yet, he had also been discreet.

So who, he wondered, was Aizen Sousuke to him? Was he a lover? Was he someone out to do him damage? They had barely spent any time in each other's presence…and yet the concept of being without him at all was striking the noble's deeply concealed heart with staggering ferocity. He didn't know what to make of that.

He was still wondering when a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind. He looked down and they seemed real enough, but when he turned, he knew the face he saw couldn't be real.

His mind had to have snapped…

It had to be the stress of all that had happened…

And yet, in that moment, Byakuya longed for anything that would take away that lonely feeling inside and fill him with something besides darkness.

"Why?" he whispered, his voice nearly breaking.

"You once told me," said Aizen's voice, "that we need to have hope, even when there is none. I am here to offer you that hope."

Byakuya turned in those arms that couldn't be real and met the eyes of what could only be a ghost. He didn't entertain for a moment that anything that was happening was real. His pain had simply taken over and his heart, body and mind were rebelling against what he knew to be true. So he chose to join the rebellion…to cast aside what he knew could not be and accept this hope that Aizen Sousuke's ghost offered.

And that was why when the ghost's mouth descended on his, he met it wholeheartedly. It didn't occur to him to question how real it felt. He needed it to feel as though real. He tightened his arms around the non-reality that this ghost represented and hung on for dear life as it plundered his mouth hungrily…as it nipped impatiently at his lips and captured and teased his tongue. He sucked that warm tongue into his mouth and teased it hotly with his own. He was both surprised and pleased his kiss was pleasing enough to make the ghost shiver and moan. He was even more surprised when it lifted him off his feet…still lodged deep within his mouth and tormenting it with a rage of furious kisses.

He was carried into the room where their first encounter had taken place and swiftly undressed. He carelessly let the kenseiken tumble to the floor, the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu drop into a small heap and his haori to fall off his shoulders without even considering the small courtesy of draping it over a chair. His shihakushou disappeared and he couldn't have cared less where it landed. Aizen's clothes too, littered the floor and he didn't pause to wonder that the ghost would bother with such realistic touches. He was too entrenched in that delicious mouth, in the cascade of touches on his body, and in the fact that this ghost's body felt so real, so responsive…so perfect.

He fell underneath flesh that somehow, even being unreal, felt as hot and alive as his own. He was pushed down and held tightly in place as Aizen's mouth planted a line of seething kisses down his throat and his hands slid down the noble's writhing body and pleasured him, touching him with such desire, he couldn't help but arch upward, drag in a heated breath and plead…_kami, yes_, plead for more. There was no reason to stop. It wasn't real anyway. He was alone and Aizen Sousuke was dead. So it was all in his mind. And that made it safe…safe to feel the emotions, to act in ways he dared not otherwise, to free himself of the rules and regulations and just give Aizen's ghost every bit of himself he had held back and hidden.

He turned suddenly, overthrowing the ghost of his lover and settled on top of him, parting his thighs and straddling Aizen's heaving form, then leaning down to engage in another barrage of steamy kisses as he brought his length together with his lover's and rubbed them against each other, enjoying the heat and friction, laughing softly as he felt a touch of wetness on his skin. He crawled down that body he had never been able to fully explore, touching him everywhere, caressing and teasing until the body beneath his reared up off the bed and cried out his name with heartbreaking affection.

He moved down even further, touching and tasting, kissing his way along the fine carved breast, soft belly and surprisingly tender thigh. He hadn't dared to wonder if Aizen would have ever allowed him entrance into that devilishly beautiful body that hid the deeper, even more complex man, but now it was all he wanted and though he felt a quiver of uncertainty in the ghost, it looked him in the eyes and with some amount of clarity, allowed him to proceed.

Byakuya's hands trembled as he carefully prepared his ghost lover and moved into position between his thighs. Meeting the warm, brown eyes, he moved forward and planted a gentle kiss on his lips.

"Are you sure you want to look me in the eyes?" the ghost of Aizen asked, "You might come to regret it later."

"I won't regret any of this," Byakuya said calmly, "It isn't real, so I can do what I want. Damn the rules, curse nobility…and I will defy anyone or anything that tries to stop me."

Aizen gazed up at him wonderingly, his fingers lightly touching the noble's pale lips.

"No one really knows you, do they?" he asked, a note of sadness in his voice, "You don't let anyone all of the way in, do you?"

The wide gray eyes darkened.

"No…not now…not ever. I'll never give that much of myself to anyone. Never after this."

Byakuya put an end to their words with a torrent of biting kisses, pushing inside Aizen's body more forcefully than he intended and not caring because it was'nt real. It wasn't real the way his lover's body tightened around him, how he moaned and gasped with delight as the noble's body threw itself heedlessly against his, forgetting all restraint. It wasn't real how their fingers laced together or how their bodies shook with the waves of nearing bliss.

Pleasure exploded through his body, dragging a cry of ecstasy from his lips. His mind seemed to fall away and the strength left him. He collapsed heavily onto Aizen's body, closing his eyes and struggling to regain his breath. Strong arms wrapped tightly around him and a calm voice sounded in his ears. His tired mind could barely understand. And in truth, he was beyond wanting to understand anything.

"You are amazing, Kuchiki Byakuya…truly. I had no idea…none at all."

He slept for a time and when he woke, warm hands were caressing him again. He felt calmer inside, his mind returning from that shell-shocked place. Strangely, the ghost was still with him, still holding him and touching and kissing him with heart-melting fervor. He fell easily under the spell of that other, letting himself be prepared and gently taken, moving more slowly this time, gazing up into the lovely brown eyes of his dead lover and somehow knowing this was goodbye. Tears rose in his eyes and the last of his pride fell away.

"Please, Sousuke," he sobbed, "don't go…"

Aizen said nothing, but brushed the tears away and sank deeper into his body. It wasn't possible, he thought for something to be so beautiful and yet so heartbreaking, for him to experience such waves of bliss and searing heat inside, but to shiver with cold. And yet, as the calm vibration of afterglow settled over him, he felt both.

"You're going to leave, aren't you?" he asked softly.

There was no answer…just the touch a soft hand on his face and a gentle kiss as he was sent into unconsciousness and quietly abandoned.


	6. The Betrayal

**Chapter 6: The Betrayal**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**_I burn inside for you, but I destroy the things that surround you. You dare not approach me, but you cannot run from me. I am inside you now. We have become one. Hold me…and watch your hands catch fire…_**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

It was a relief to have left the battlefield…to kneel quietly and taste the blood in his mouth and thank all of the stars in the sky that the Ryoka boy had proven himself stronger. He thought back to Shihoin Yoruichi's words on the bridge, her promise to make Ichigo stronger than him. And just as she had promised, Ichigo had, in the end, shattered Senbonzakura…leaving Byakuya bloodied and beaten.

But Ichigo had definitely paid for the privilege…

And now, none could say that he had done anything less than his duty. He had put aside his feelings and served his clan…had kept his promise to his parents. He couldn't claim a full victory, because he had not, in fact, been able to keep his promise to Hisana to protect her younger sister…but then, Ichigo had taken care of that obligation. He knew he owed the youth something for that. But there would be time for paying debts later. For now, Byakuya knelt calmly in the brush, letting his reiatsu restore itself. It was still a ways to the fourth division and he was weary.

He paused to give thought to what he would do now.

Renji and Rukia would be considered fugitives, but unless Soutaichou directly ordered him to do so, he would not pursue either. Rukia, he would not pursue, because he had already lost his right to do so. And Renji…Renji, he would not pursue because, in truth, he was grateful…grateful to this one who was more like a brother to her than he would ever be. Renji was the body that was able to do what Byakuya wished he could. He wished he could have rescued his sister…and carried her away from Soukyoku Hill. He wished he could have fled the Seireitei and found a place to keep her safe and well until the trouble was over.

But his hands were tied at every turn, it seemed. And strong as he was, he was never, it seemed, allowed to use that strength to protect what he held dear. Instead, he protected something called peace, which was kept in place by adherence to laws. The only problem was…a set of laws was only as good and useful as the ones who enforced it. Adherence to laws depended on the morals of the ones in power. And although many holding power currently were people of good character, many were not. And that meant that the laws were being applied imperfectly…which went against what he believed.

That brought the question down to what he was really protecting. In a way, he was protecting what he believed was important…but with the system corrupted, his protection was being misused to benefit those who did not share his values. And so he was protecting a corrupted system and leaving unprotected, the people he cared about, people like Rukia and Renji, who were the victims of the misuse of justice. He knew well enough that even if he did not pursue Rukia, Central 46 would…and now they would pursue his fukutaichou as well. There seemed to be no way out.

He sighed softly, his reiatsu restored enough to continue walking, but his heart, as always, too deeply conflicted. So, he remained where he was, the afternoon sun heating the half-dead brush all around and his heart as dry and beaten as their shriveled leaves and branches.

He had almost decided to continue on to the fourth division when he felt a hot wind cross the trail…a rise in reiatsu that seemed oddly familiar. He looked over his shoulder, back in the direction of Soukyoku Hill, feeling something stir inside. He wasn't sure what it was, but something seemed amiss. Bereft of sword and not yet even half restored, he should have left it to others to investigate, but as he stood, scenting the power on the breeze, he recognized Rukia and Renji's reiatsu…and the presence of three taichou levels.

He closed his eyes against the realization…

_So…they must have been captured…but…why return them to the stand? The stand was destroyed. Did they plan to use another form of execution? Did they not plan to pursue judgment of the two in a lawful fashion before executing them? And if justice had broken down, and the law was not being applied properly…he had an obligation to do something._

Byakuya turned and flash stepped in the direction of the stand. He hurried back along the trail he had taken, sensing more as he closed in on the ones at the top of the hill. Multiple taichous were arriving. The very fact of that hastened his feet. He reached a covered area near the stand and slid to a stop, his eyes widening…and his heart breaking into pieces.

_He is alive…_

_His death was a lie…_

_But what…?_

Blood exploded around him and he felt the decline of Ichigo's reiatsu…of Renji's …and he moved closer. He could hear the words now…softly spoken words in a deceptively gentle voice that had lulled him into complacency as a youth and cost him his innocence…that had taken away his ability to create an heir with any but this one and had left Hisana and him childless. It was a voice he had thought stilled by murder…but it now rose up and calmly explained how he had lied to everyone…how he had murdered the councilors of Central 46…and used Rukia…and used him. Every bit of his coldness was delivered with warm sarcasm and disdain. And suddenly, Byakuya felt weaker than when Senbonzakura had shattered in his hand…

Because this one he had given himself to was anything but what he seemed. He hated the system of rule and held himself above it and the ones who supported it. He was heartless and cruel, willing to use anyone to achieve what he wanted. He had used Rukia cruelly. And Byakuya was certain that he knew why. Aizen hated the system of government, which placed the noble clans above others…and the Kuchiki clan was the most powerful clan. He was the clan leader…and up until very recently, Aizen had been convinced that Byakuya thought himself above others…that he had rejected the man's advances, because Aizen was not noble class. Only recently had they aired their differences and found resolve…but judging by the complexity of the plan he was describing, he discovered this too late. Rukia was already sentenced to death…and all plans were in place for the betrayal. So when he had faked his death and found Byakuya in torment over him, he had been surprised. Too late, he realized that he had misjudged Byakuya. But the wheels were turning…and he was standing there now, holding Rukia by the throat, in calm, cold words, ordering Gin to kill her.

She was not going to die because of any crime…and in fact, had committed no real crime at all. She had only been his pawn, one he chose to discard, now that her usefulness was done. But Rukia was his sister, one he was sworn to protect…and freed of the obligation to seek her capture and execution, it was his duty to act in the way he had wanted to from the start. It was odd, he thought, that Ichigo's refusal to adhere to the law…and now Aizen's treachery…cleared his sister of any remaining guilt…and freed him to come to her rescue. There was, he thought, some sense in all of the chaos. And there was a gift, even in Aizen Sousuke's betrayal.

His feet could move again. His power flared around him. Bereft of zanpakutou and the better part of his strength, he threw his heart into brutally fast flash steps that burned his very skin with their ferocity. He felt the strain on his power centers, felt them burn as hotly as his flesh. He cast himself forward, his hands capturing and pulling free what belonged to him, his body thrown between her and the incoming blade that sought to take her. He felt his feet touch the ground and closed his eyes against what was happening. Gin's weapon found his chest and plunged inside. He felt the hard shock, the violation of flesh…blood…and heart, and his knees weakened.

He was still standing…

Aizen Sousuke was staring with a look of disbelief in his eyes…

Then the weapon was torn free and Byakuya dropped to his knees, still holding Rukia tightly. He stared into the calm brown eyes he had thought he knew. There was nothing in them now, but death…and it closed in on Rukia and him as Aizen stepped closer, laying a hand on his sword. Byakuya saw something like regret in his eyes…then something started to happen around them. He tried to see, but he was too far gone. He collapsed against Rukia and the world around him grew hazy and dull. He moved in and out of consciousness, rising up long enough to sense Aizen's leaving, long enough to yield Rukia a truth he had promised never to speak…long enough to lift the last bit of weight from his heart and sigh, knowing she was safe, then he gave himself over to the darkness. He didn't want to think about what came next.

But all too soon, it seemed, life began to flow again in his veins. Despite how torn his heart was, it had not died, and against all logic, continued to beat beneath his ruined breast, each pulse sending pain firing through him. He released a groan and felt healing hands touch him, making the pain disappear and his mind spin away again. He was grateful for the fact that the fog around his mind kept him from feeling the full weight of his failures…of his naivety…his outright stupidity.

Aizen Sousuke had completely taken him in…and used him…used Rukia. Then he had betrayed everyone and discarded them like scattered leaves. And it wasn't as though he could claim innocence…or that he had never been warned. Ginrei had told him, more than once, to stay away from Aizen. Byakuya hadn't openly questioned it, but at the time had obeyed out of respect for his grandfather. He hadn't understood at all what made the soft spoken Aizen taichou so dangerous. He had never in his life met a truly wicked person.

And he still wondered…

Was Aizen truly wicked inside? Did he truly harbor so much hatred? And did he still hate Byakuya for spurning him…for refusing him…before? He hadn't felt the hatred in the body that had joined with his…

He stopped himself…

Aizen hadn't been murdered. He hadn't been dead at all. And he had followed him to the hotel in Karakura Town and made love to him…then left again, without telling him anything. Aizen had callously allowed his heart to be shattered and had done nothing to mitigate the damage.

_Why?_

Byakuya's mind froze as he realized something more. He had opened his heart to what he thought was Aizen's ghost. But Aizen was really there. And Byakuya had revealed himself in his entirety, throwing off all of his restraints and acting in full rebellion, because he thought all was lost. And Aizen had said he offered hope. At the time, he had thought he understood that. Now he wondered…

_Why?_

It didn't matter really. Aizen was gone to Hueco Mundo and Byakuya would likely never see him alive again. Either he would destroy everything or (more likely) he would be destroyed and Byakuya would never have to look on him again.

There was only one little catch…

Byakuya had opened his heart while they were together. If Aizen had, too…

He stopped and laughed at himself. Aizen didn't have a heart. Hadn't he proven that? And when they were together in the hotel, it was just so he could use Byakuya while he was vulnerable. He had always come after him while he was vulnerable…first, due to his young age…then to the departure of Ginrei…then again, when he was drunk…and again when he despaired over Aizen, himself.

Why?

Why had Aizen used him so cruelly?

Why had he fallen for it?

_Why?_

"Nii-sama?"

_No…_

"Nii-sama, wake up…"

_You can't be here…_

"I'm here for you, Nii-sama. Renji and I are both here."

_Please…go…_

"Everyone is worried about you. You've had so many people who wanted to visit you. But we can't let them in until you're better. Nii-sama, I need you to wake up. We need to talk…"

_I can't look you in the eyes._

"You don't have to say anything, but I need to tell you I love you and to have you hear me."

_I do not deserve your love…_

"It's over now. All of the bad things are over."

_They are not as 'over' as you think…_

"We can be a family now."

_I have no family. I have dishonored my clan with my disobedience. I have dishonored you by fouling my mind and body and heart with the one who tried to hurt you…to kill you…_

"I need you to forgive me, Nii-sama."

_What?_

"I'm so sorry I was a burden to you. I understand now why you acted as you did…and I'm sorry that it hurt you to see my sister every time you looked at me. I'm sorry you felt obligated to find me…that you had to break the rules to bring me into the family…"

_Don't blame yourself. I chose to bear that burden for Hisana…and I would do it all again…only I would do better by you._

"I feel lucky to have you as my brother."

_I have been no brother to you…_

"I want you to come back so that we can make things better between us."

_Don't you understand? I don't deserve that! I gave myself to the man who almost killed you!_

"I want to let go of the past, Nii-sama. I want us to have a new start…a better one. Please."

_Is that even possible?_

"Nii-sama, I love you…"

_Would you still love me if you knew?_

But he already knew the answer. Rukia would forgive him, even knowing about Aizen. But he couldn't confess that to her. He knew he would never be able to say the words. And so he resolved that when he was able to wake…to speak to her. He wouldn't tell her about Aizen, but he would make things right. They would go on. And Aizen would be left behind them…slowly forgotten.

It was what they both wanted, wasn't it?

But even as he found the strength to lace his fingers together with Rukia's and squeeze her hand lightly, he had to wonder. Would it be possible to leave it all behind?

Would it?

He wondered as the time went on and the hours passed. He wondered as Rukia fell silent…as her head dropped down to rest beside his on his pillow. He wondered as Renji continued to sit quietly in the doorway, whittling away absently at a piece of wood and stealing glances at Rukia and him. He wondered as the moon rose into the sky outside the fourth division, full and blue and lovely. And he was still wondering when the sun rose again…when Rukia's head lifted off his pillow…and the weight seemed to lift from his body.

He was calm inside again. He had found his center. And so centered, he would move forward. He would forget Aizen Sousuke and cling to the beautiful things around him. And with Rukia and Renji hovering so near, he didn't have to be alone anymore.

But even as he met Rukia's eyes and yielded her a small smile, doubt nagged at him from a place somewhere deep inside. There was something inside that told him that he hadn't seen the last of Aizen Sousuke…that he would see the man again, all too soon.

He pushed the doubts aside and sat up slowly, sipping at his tea and admiring the sunshine and flowers outside his window.

It didn't matter…

It was over…

There was no more need to question…

_Why?_


	7. The Little Things

**Chapter 7: The Little Things**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**I busied my mind and filled my days with distractions, anything to make the ghost of you disappear. I wanted to forget you and you wanted to be forgotten. But though our minds turned away, our hearts were still connected, and everything we told ourselves to keep our love at bay, was a sea of lies.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Taichou, would you like me to make you some tea?" Renji asked.

"Hai, tea would be good," Byakuya answered without looking up, "and would you make it ginger tea?"

Renji's brow furrowed.

"Again?" he mused, getting up and heading for the hallway, "You still having stomach problems?"

"I am fine," Byakuya answered, an edge of annoyance in his voice, "I just have a preference for it lately. Is there something wrong with that?"

"No," said Renji, smiling, "Just making sure nothing's wrong. It's my job."

"You are not my nursemaid, nor are you my personal attendant, Abarai. Just go make that tea and let me work."

"Okay, sheesh!" Renji huffed, "Don't hafta bite my head off. I'm going…"

Byakuya looked up as he left, shook his head and turned back to his work. The words on the papers were wavering oddly before his eyes and his stomach churned uncomfortably. He tried closing his eyes and resting his face in his hands, but his head only went into a harder spin and his stomach clenched. He got up too quickly and staggered into the hallway, moving quickly through the door that led into his quarters. He flash stepped across the room and made it to the washroom just in time to fall to his knees retching somewhat ingloriously, then falling back against the wall and striking the back of his head rather soundly. He wasn't sure, at that point if the spinning was still caused by having gotten up too quickly or if he had given himself a concussion, falling back against the wall that way, so he pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head on his arms, groaning. He would have lowered his pride and crawled towards the bed, but when he opened his eyes, all he saw was swirls of colors.

"Taichou?" said Renji worriedly.

"Do you always invade your superior officer's quarters without an invitation, or is this something new, Abarai?" he said without lifting his head, "Go away."

"Don't be stupid," he said, flinching at the look of reproach his familiarity earned, "Sorry Taichou, but come on…you've been like this since you were released from the healing center. You know you should have taken more leave time before coming back to work. You're pushing yourself too hard. Anyone can see that."

Byakuya lifted his head and Renji winced, looking at him.

"You're white as a sheet," he said, reaching out to steady him as he stood, almost fell and caught himself on the edge of the counter.

He leaned against the counter, then started towards the bed, only to start to collapse again, halfway across the room. Renji caught him up and ignored his protests, carrying him to the bed and depositing him there with a gentle smile.

"Stay put," he said, turning away, "I'll go back and get the tea."

"Did I smell cookies, too?" asked Byakuya.

"Brownies actually," Renji said, "I get hungry in the middle of the night. But I didn't think you liked sweets. And are you sure you want to eat just after…"

"Yes…arigato, Abarai. And if you could bring me the reports I was working on…"

"Why? So you can throw up on them? No way…brownies and tea…then, you need to get some sleep, Taichou."

"Abarai, when did you get promoted to be my superior? I need those reports done for the taichou's meeting in the morning."

"I will finish them and have them waiting on your desk."

He flash stepped out of the room, leaving Byakuya staring after him. He walked back into the room several minutes later, only to find Byakuya asleep. He set the tea and brownies on the nightstand, then turned out the lights and walked back to the door.

"You work too hard, Taichou," he said softly, "I think you're still feeling bad about before…"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Are you still brooding, Sousuke?" asked Gin, studying the tall form who sat in his chair, his face discontentedly resting against his hand and his eyes distant and troubled, "There's nothing you could have done, what with those ruffians dropping down on us when they did. And besides, what would you have done with them when you got them here? You had just had me try to kill Rukia and Kuchiki taichou was better off in the hands of Unohana taichou."

"I could have healed him," Aizen said tersely, "I wouldn't have let him die. Another few seconds. That's all it would have taken…and I could have made them disappear…could have left false bodies behind…no one would have known they were even still alive."

"And what would you have done with Rukia? I know you have a fascination with him, but if you'd just ordered her killed…"

"I don't know. Maybe I would have just taken him…but I didn't have time to even draw my weapon before…and once the garganta opened and we were recalled, it was too late. And I saw it in his eyes anyway. He thought I was going to kill them both."

"Well," said Gin, "Based on the order to kill Rukia, I would have come to the same conclusion. Why the change of heart?"

Aizen's eyes closed for a moment, then slowly opened again.

"When he was injured, I thought of a use for her. She could have tended him here as he healed…and could have stayed to keep him company, so he wouldn't have had to feel completely shut off from everyone he knew."

"An awfully nice sentiment, coming from you. You must really like him. But I thought you hated the nobles, especially him. I thought that you were angry he kept resisting you."

"He stopped resisting. When he thought that I was dead, he went to the place we were first together, and he was different. He thought I was a ghost and he said and did things that surprised me. I realized that I didn't know him well at all. But it was too late to stop our plans. And in truth, I still wanted the noble houses to fall. But I planned to make sure he survived until I was king, so that I could name him my consort."

Gin's brow furrowed thoughtfully.

"But there's still something that doesn't make sense. If you realized he was not what you expected…and you made these plans for him…then why did you still order me to kill his sister? Even had you spared him, he wouldn't have thought much of you if you killed her…"

"She was causing him pain…pain he refused to avoid. She was a burden to him…and I thought that the only reason he adopted her was because of her resemblance to that peasant woman he married. Had I known it was his late wife's sister, I might have thought differently of killing her. I might have understood why he punished himself so by having her around. It was a costly misunderstanding."

"Well…we would have known sooner, but Byakuya was very tight-lipped about her. You didn't even know Rukia was his late wife's sister until well after we returned. It took time for that to move along the grapevine."

He gazed at Aizen quietly for several long, silent minutes.

"You know, we could capture him and bring him here…if you want him that badly," he suggested.

Aizen sighed.

"He hates me now…and he should. I used his sister in a scheme to betray everyone as part of a larger plan to bring down the king and the noble houses. I still want that, even though I yearn for him. And that would make him hate me. Add to that my order to kill Rukia, even not knowing her connection to his late wife and the fact he thinks I was going to kill them both and you can see why it wouldn't work. No…I will wait until the king is slain and the noble houses collapse. He is strong. He will survive. And when I am king, I will pick up whatever is left of him and make things right again. I'll take him as my consort and give him the children he longs for so badly. He will have what he needs then…everything he needs. But I can't help him right now…not under these conditions. It's better for Byakuya to stay where he is. It's actually safer than bringing him here."

"Hmmm…" smiled Gin, "I don't think that bodes well for Tousen and me…"

"I am not in love with either of you," Aizen said quietly, "Byakuya would make too tempting a target for those seeking a weakness in me. I won't purposely weaken myself or offer them a target like that while still residing in Las Noches. As I said, I will take Byakuya to my side later…when the king is dead."

"And you think he'll come running back to you?" Gin asked coyly.

"I won't give him a choice. He will warm to me when he sees that I am willing to be merciful. He will see that what I have in mind will make for better worlds than the ones we have. Once he sees that justice is assured under my rule, he will hate me no longer. Right now, he is focused on the cruelty that was necessary to overthrow the old regime. He doesn't understand that they deserved to die. He will later…"

"You hope…in any case," Gin added softly.

"I know. I will make him understand."

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya woke to a hot cup of ginger tea and breakfast waiting. A note by the bed from Renji told him that Soutaichou had excused him from the taichou's meeting and that he was expected to visit the fourth division after he had rested enough.

Sighing softly, he ate everything offered and drank the tea, then sat gazing out his window and daydreaming. He knew he should be angry with Renji for interfering, but his fukutaichou was, in fact, right. He was working himself too hard. He was doing so on purpose to avoid thinking about things that were best forgotten.

But Aizen Sousuke was turning out to be very difficult to forget…

He wanted badly to hate the man. He was certainly hurt and angry over his use of Rukia in his plans. He wanted revenge. But even more, he wanted to understand. Not that it mattered in the long run…but understanding seemed to be very important to his beleaguered mind. Still, he wondered if it was truly just a need to understand, or if his rebellious mind could actually want to forgive the man. He couldn't think of a single reason why he should…or why his heart would lead him in that direction. What he had done to Rukia and him was unforgivable. And he was better off, forgetting and moving on, than continuing to harbor doubts.

"Hey Taichou…" Renji said, smiling as he noted the empty tray.

The redhead picked up the tray and started towards the door.

"Renji…"

He stopped and turned to look at Byakuya.

"Hai, Taichou…"

"Arigato."

He gave Byakuya a bright, surprised smile.

"No problem at all, Taichou. How are you feeling?"

"Wretched," he said calmly, "but not so tired."

"Well, I have Rikichi ready to go with me on the reconnaissance patrol to Hueco Mundo…"

"Not necessary," Byakuya said, looking offended, "I may have needed some extra sleep, but if you keep feeding me and making me lie about so much without taking any missions, I am likely to get fat and lose my shinigami powers."

Renji couldn't stifle his laughter at that, but quickly sobered.

"Are you sure you should go? I thought you had to go to the fourth division…"

"I will go now…and we can leave from there."

He raised an eyebrow slightly.

"You _were_ planning on following me over and hovering until I was done, anyway, ne?"

Renji laughed.

"You know me too well, Taichou!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Well, Kuchiki taichou," said Unohana taichou appreciatively, "You must be over whatever was bothering you before, because you are the picture of good health…oh, except for the chest wound that's still healing. I checked for infection, because you are running slightly on the warm side, but there is no infection. You probably just had a minor bug. I wouldn't worry overly much as long as it doesn't get any worse. Everything else is fine"

"I told Renji that he was worrying too much."

"Renji was smart enough to head off something worse by making you rest and sending you in my direction. You should appreciate how well your fukutaichou looks after you."

"Yes…" Byakuya said, blithely, "I imagine if my mother had lived beyond birthing me, she would be in full agreement. But we are not children and I have responsibilities. So, I thank you for allowing me to waste your time and I will endeavor not to let myself get run down and frighten my fukutaichou into fits again. Really…I think I liked it better when he despised me."

"Oh, you don't mean that!" Unohana said, her eyes twinkling, "You enjoy being looked after, no matter what you say."

"You seem very sure of yourself," Byakuya said, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh, I am," the healer chuckled softly.

"Then, may I have my clearance? I need to leave for Hueco Mundo immediately."

Unohana eyed him for a moment.

"I cleared you for non-combat missions."

"It's reconnaissance and Renji and Rikichi are both going with me."

The healer nodded.

"Very well. Isane will have your clearance. She is chatting with Renji in the waiting room."

"Renji and Isane?" Byakuya said, frowning.

"Ah…" laughed Unohana, "Isane is only being friendly and fending off his questions. If you want my personal opinion, I'd say Renji has grown very protective of someone…but it isn't Isane."

"Rukia?"

The healer shook her head and chuckled softly.

"You know who I mean," she said, sobering slightly, "and even though you haven't asked my opinion, I think I should offer it. Renji cares a great deal about you."

She looked at Byakuya more closely.

"But from the look on your face, I would say it's not a lack of affection for your fukutaichou that is troubling you. What is it, then? Clan issues? Work relations issues? If you don't mind me asking?"

Byakuya sighed.

"Why would I mind? You know everything anyway. You are very good at reading people. I will be honest. I care for Renji, too. He has been beside me every step of my recovery."

"But something is weighing on your mind? Some unresolved issue?" Unohana asked, "Don't worry. Renji is not going to be upset with you for taking things slowly. Just give him proper care in return and whatever happens, he will remain your friend. That _is_ what your true concern is…isn't it?"

"As I said," Byakuya replied softly, "You are very good at reading people. I will take your advice into consideration. Arigato, Unohana taichou."


	8. Snare

**Chapter 8: Snare**

**(Thanks going out to Geecee (Another update for you!), Walkure Leuad (Yeah, I was a little angsty!), Aurelia Cotta (You are welcome! We're into the real revising now, but I will try to keep up the pace of posts.), Jasper's Girl Forever (Glad you like it!), MinaBlueGlass (You are most welcome!), and anonymous guest! Enjoy the new chapter!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Don't worry for me. I have fallen gently. While you are far from me and I am trying to forget you, the wheels of time are turning. Other eyes adore me and in time, I will make you a distant memory…if…**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Kuchiki taichou," Rikichi said, flash stepping to rejoin Byakuya and Renji, "The area to the southwest is as reported last recon, the southeast is less active than at last count, but due south, there is an oddity."

"What kind of oddity?" Byakuya asked, turning to look in the indicated direction.

"The area gives off the same reading as last time, but as I took the third set of readings, there was a 'flutter' in the reiatsu level in the area. Abarai fukutaichou just gave us training to question that exact situation, because it often…"

"…signifies a snare," finished Byakuya, nodding, "I appreciate your attention to detail, Rikichi. Now, take our combined notes and return to the sixth division office. Write up a full report of our mission, leaving room for our report on the south sector. We will send a hell butterfly after investigating."

"But sir…regulations state that…"

"Don't worry about it, Rikichi," Renji said, smiling, "I will make sure that Kuchiki taichou performs in a non-combat role for the mission. I won't let him lift a shikai!"

"That's a very smug attitude you have," Byakuya commented as they watched the young shinigami flash step away, "You almost sound as though you could stop me if I…"

"I just didn't want the kid worrying. He doesn't want to see you hurt again. None of us who are protecting you do, Taichou."

"I thought I was hated and feared by just about everyone…until lately. You do realize that the change in how they view me began with you, Abarai, do you not?"

"What?" the redhead queried, sounding surprised.

"I am the one who wears the haori, but you are the one who has the most to do with how I am received. The ones we lead look up to you. You interact with them and see to their training needs. You keep them in order…so that I can focus on finding the best use of our combined strength and employ it. It wouldn't be possible for me to see to their day to day needs and still lead effectively…so what I am saying is that it isn't just me who leads our squad. It is you, as well. If either of us doesn't do what we are supposed to…both of us will fail. We really do depend on each other. And up to this point, you have provided everything our squad needs to make it excel. But there is something that I have not been doing that has held us all back somewhat."

"And what is that, Taichou?"

Byakuya flash stepped forward and scanned the area around them. Almost immediately, he sensed the fluctuation in power that had caught Rikichi's attention. He turned toward it, senses extended and Renji at his side.

"A taichou isn't just someone dedicated to strategy…using people as resources. The taichou's power isn't just for assailing enemies. You have worked hard to provide me with a capable and cohesive team of fighters, but how I use them makes a difference. I must employ them in the way we are strongest, but that means, of course, putting some at risk for the good of all. And if you are going to be the one who assigns risk and you want your group to remain cohesive, you have to concern yourself with the emotions of your fighters."

Renji glanced up at him as they continued walking.

"Being noble born, I was trained to ignore or put aside my own emotions…but when you lead, emotions are an important part of what happens, both on and off the battlefield. Off the battlefield, emotion either builds or breaks down the confidence, loyalty and protectiveness of each fighter…changing their value to the whole group. And on the battlefield, emotion can make them fight harder…or cave in to fear. A fighting group needs to respect the power and ability of its taichou, but also needs to trust that taichou to protect each person he leads. If that trust is not there, then confidence becomes shaky, loyalties are questioned and whole group protectiveness gives way to survival thinking."

"But, Taichou, we haven't had a problem with those things. The guys know they can trust in your strength…"

"Ichigo shattered my strength in a way it has never been shattered before. There was the potential for our group's confidence in me to protect them to be shattered as well. And your role in their perception of me became very important. You could have focused on spending all of your time holding them together and left me to recover or not as fate decreed. But you took the higher road. You not only held them together…you remained at my side, supporting me in my recovery. You showed affection and loyalty that not only affected me, but it affected them. It set a good example."

"I wasn't trying to…"

"No…you are a natural leader. You do these things without thought. Some things about leadership that I have learned, you haven't had to. You know already. And now that your powers are meeting up with that natural ability, it is time for you to change your role in the Gotei 13, Renji. I want you to take the next taichou's exam."

"Wha…huh? You want to run that by me again, Taichou? Because I know you can't have just said what I heard…"

"I said…it is time for you to advance."

"B-but, you just kicked my ass in battle and I barely put a scratch on you! I'm not strong enough to be…"

"Strength is only part of the whole…and while your strength hasn't matched mine yet…it is well on the way to doing so. And in any case, there are many other qualities that are equally important. In addition, while you go through the process of advancement, you and I will train together, so that when you reach the final steps and earn your haori, you will be ready to assume command."

Renji smiled.

"That sounds…wonderful, taichou. And…if you say that I am ready to advance, I trust that I must be…"

"So, let's take a step forward together," Byakuya said, looking down into a rocky, shaded valley before them, "You have come to a snare and you have to disarm it. You must send a weaker fighter to spring the trap or you must rely on your own strength. I am the weaker fighter."

Renji nodded, thinking.

"I think I should go, myself. I mean…if I know you are weaker…"

Byakuya smiled tolerantly.

"Yet…if you become trapped, you have to depend on a weaker fighter to free you."

"But if I send the weaker fighter…I could lose him," Renji mused.

"Do you see it now?"

"What? That it's him or me? Taichou…"

"No," Byakuya said patiently, "that sometimes the answer isn't black and white…that sometimes it is your personality and style of leadership that will decide the unclear things. Take this snare. Which of us should spring the trap?"

"Me, of course," Renji said quickly, but then stopped, "Right?"

"I told you…sometimes command decisions must be based on your personality, style of leadership…instincts. Make the decision, Renji. Who will spring the trap?"

"Wait…you aren't supposed to be using your powers…and the one who stays here will have to. Logic says that you should go and spring the trap and I should hope like hell I don't make a mistake."

"Very well," Byakuya said, moving forward.

Renji bit back the urge to tell Byakuya to be careful and moved on silent feet into position at the top of the valley. Byakuya advanced cautiously, picking his way delicately through the rocks and honing in on the threat. He sensed the hollows all around them, carefully concealed and waiting. He leaked enough spiritual pressure to taunt them and slowly approached the place he judged they would spring the attack.

Teased by the promise of his reiatsu, the hollows moved too soon, giving him sufficient time to raise a strong shield as the horde rose up around him. At the top of the valley, Renji realized there were too many for his shikai to vanquish.

"Ban kai, Hihio Zabimaru!"

The skeletal snake roared to life and soared down into the valley, devouring scores of hollows as it went. He directed it around the surrounded taichou. But as the normal hollows fell away, Renji sensed something more powerful coming to life. He gazed down in horror as long black limbs began to shoot out of the rocks near Byakuya, fastening themselves on the entrapped taichou's shielding and beginning to engulf it. Renji flash stepped down into the valley, sending Zabimaru ahead of him.

"Hikotsu taihou!" he shouted, sending a blast of red fire into the rocks from which the black limbs extended.

The dark limbs quaked and then shot out in Renji's direction. The redhead turned Zabimaru and sent him on the attack again. This time, the black limbs shattered. He sent Zabimaru in to finish off the creature, then swept across the small valley, making certain it was clear of threats before flash stepping to Byakuya's side and watching as his shielding faded. The noble nodded appreciatively.

"Nicely done, Abarai. Well read and executed…and I only had to use a basic shield. The snare is cleared. Let's go home."

"Hai, Taichou," Renji said, breathlessly.

The redhead was quiet as they returned to the base and pensive as they passed through the senkaimon and back into the Seireitei. Byakuya left him to his thoughts and said nothing until they had reached the sixth division and finished filing their reports. He sat at his desk, pretending to read a document, but watching Renji out of the corner of one eye. He caught the furtive glances in his direction and a smile crept onto his lips. It was as he suspected. Renji was watching him carefully.

_He is...concerned for me?_

He waited for the next guarded glance and met Renji's eyes, surprising the redhead and making him flinch and blush.

"Abarai, is something wrong?" he asked, sounding unaffected.

"N-no, Taichou. Just…do you want me to make some tea?"

"Hai, tea would be good…arigato."

He watched as Renji left the room, then turned back to his work, trying to concentrate despite the sweet, warm feeling that had invaded his heart.

"Here you go, Taichou," Renji said in that calm, warm voice that gave him such peace.

"Arigatou," he said quietly, sipping at the tea, "Sit down, Renji. I want to talk to you."

"O-kay, the redhead said, giving him an anxious look, "Is something else wrong, Taichou?"

"No. I have told you everything. What I wanted to discuss is something else."

"All right," said Renji, looking only a little less nervous, "What is it?"

"I want to tell you that...I am grateful to you."

"What?" queried the redhead, looking confused, "For what? What did I do? I mean, Taichou, I just...I turned on you."

"That is in the past," Byakuya said solemnly, "You have stood by me ever since Aizen Sousuke's betrayal. You have paid attention to my needs and listened when I needed to talk. I just want you to know what that means to me. We did not begin as friends, nor even allies really, but I would like to change that now."

"You want to...?"

"I would like what has formed between us to continue. I enjoy sharing tea with you and listening to you talk about whatever is on your mind. You usually seem nervous around me and stop talking because you think you are annoying me. You do not annoy me. In fact, in recent times, even before we came to understanding, you comforted me."

"I did?" asked the redhead, looking confused.

"You did. The way you were with me when Rukia's sentence was handed down and I...lost my senses that night. You safeguarded my honor, even knowing that I stood against my sister, whom you love like a sister, yourself."

"Well," said Renji, coloring, "It was the right thing to do. Whatever was wrong between us, I hated that seeing you hurt like that."

"Well again, I am grateful."

"No problem, Taichou," Renji said, smiling, "You had a lot going on then...what with Rukia and whoever that guy was who broke your heart."

Byakuya frowned.

"Who?"

"I don't know," Renji said, shaking his head, "but you were acting funny right before Aizen Sousuke betrayed us…and after he left, you were acting as though something hurt…not just your physical injuries, but something inside. I don't know who did it, but someone broke your heart, Taichou. I could feel it."

Byakuya sighed and closed his eyes.

"It was that obvious?" he asked softly.

Renji shook his head.

"Other people didn't notice, but I work with you all of the time, so I couldn't help but see the difference."

"You are very observant, Renji," Byakuya said softly, "I don't want to discuss that person, but I will admit that it is as you say."

Renji nodded.

"So…you are getting over someone."

"I have no choice but to move forward."

He met Renji's eyes questioningly.

"That _is_ what you were concerned about…is it not? That I might still be…conflicted?"

Renji smiled.

"You_ are_ still conflicted, Taichou. Any person just falling out of love would be. But you can talk to me anytime. I'll listen and I won't judge. After everything, I owe you that."

Byakuya sighed.

"Thank you. There is nothing to do, really. The person is gone and not coming back. I just wish now that I had been more cautious. Then I wouldn't be in this situation."

Renji slipped a warm, rough hand into his.

"What situation is that?" he asked, looking down at their entwined fingers.

"I can't be with this person anymore. I was never really 'with' him in the first place…but our paths kept crossing and he was persistent. And I finally gave in to loving him. Then he disappeared. I know where he is…but if he had loved me, then he would have told me he was leaving. He wouldn't have disappeared the way he did. He isn't coming back for me…and I won't go after someone who doesn't want me. I think my energy is better spent finding love that is mutual."

Renji smiled.

"I think you will, Taichou. But first, you need to give yourself time to get over this guy. And...if you'll trust me, I can help you with that."

"Oh?" Byakuya asked, his heart catching softly in his chest.

"Yeah," said the redhead, "I'm not hitting on you here, so don't take this the wrong way. Come with me."

Curious, Byakuya stood and followed Renji out of the office, into the hallway, then into his quarters. Renji stopped the noble by the bed and looked at him questioningly.

"May I?" he asked, reaching for the tie at Byakuya's waist.

"I thought that you said..."

"I'm not hitting on you," Renji assured him, "This isn't the time for that. Just think of me...like one of those servants at your manor. I'll dress you for bed and then tonight, I'll lie down close to you, just so you don't feel alone."

"Oh, that is not..." the noble started to object.

But he stopped as those gentle hands freed him from his clothing and dressed him in a comfortable yukata. He laid down in the bed and turned off the light as Renji slid in next to him. He hesitated for a moment, then turned into Renji's warm, supportive arms.

"Renji," said Byakuya, tilting his head to look into the other man's warm, red-brown eyes, "You are...not interested in me at all?"

Renji chuckled softly, a soothing purr that rumbled through his strong chest.

"I didn't say that I wasn't interested in you, Taichou," he said, kissing the noble on the cheek, "I just said that I wouldn't hit on you."

"Oh!" Byakuya said, blushing, "Renji, that's..."

"Don't worry about it," laughed the redhead, "Just don't think about that now. You're still getting over someone."

Renji smirked, making the flustered noble's blush deepen.

"But when you're over him, just promise me you'll go out with me, okay?"

"Renji..."

"It's okay if you're not interested," Renji chuckled, "Just had to make sure you didn't overlook me."

"I would not do that," said Byakuya, yielding a small smile, "I think I would be open to dating...when I have resolved things."

"Okay," said the redhead, settling and pulling the noble close, "Let's get some sleep, Taichou. We need to get you over this guy good and quick!"


	9. The Promise

**Chapter 9: The Promise**

**(Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing! And not to worry, Aizen and Bya will be back in each others' orbit soon. Just have some setup to do before they meet again. Thanks going out to WinterStorm03 (There will be lots of Aizen/Bya interaction very soon. And yes! My Obsession is going to get an update very soon! I have been meaning to do that forever.), and SexyBVirgo (LOL, Bya does go back and forth with his feelings, but once he and his Sousuke meet again, they will really give their all to hanging on.). Enjoy the new chapter!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**I am on my knees…please don't make me say the words. If I pray hard enough, will you disappear? If I scream loud enough, will it bring me peace? I am lost and falling. Do not catch me…**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Renji came suddenly out of a deep sleep, waking to the sound of a pained groan. He turned his head and found Byakuya sitting up in the bed and leaning forward, his hand on his lower abdomen and sweat rising on his face.

"Taichou? Taichou, what's wrong?"

Byakuya shook his head briefly, but shifted, so that he leaned heavily against the stunned redhead. Renji carefully opened his yukata and eased him onto his back. Byakuya took slow, shallow breaths and closed his eyes. Renji sent healing energy into the area, but a moment later, drew back in surprise.

"Taichou…something is odd here. There is strange reiatsu inside you…here. Could it have been from the hollow attack? That black creature attacked your shielding. Could it have…done something to you?"

"I don't know," the noble said, appearing to regain his composure, but still looking unnaturally pale, "There is pain all through that area."

"I'm going to take you back to the healing center," Renji said, starting to rise, "You shouldn't have pain like that…"

Byakuya shook his head.

"No…no, I'll be fine. I just want to lie here for a while."

He turned onto his side and curled around a pillow. Renji settled down behind him and wrapped his body around the noble's, placing a hand over where he had sensed the odd reiatsu. He continued to flow healing energy into the area and to hold Byakuya against him. They remained that way for several minutes before Byakuya gave a sigh and relaxed into Renji's embrace. He curled a hand around Renji's where it still remained on his midsection.

"Arigatou, Abarai," he said softly, "It does feel better now."

"See if you can sleep some, Taichou," Renji said gently, "I'll stay here with you…if that's okay."

Byakuya nodded.

"Again, Arigatou. I feel better knowing you are here."

He turned in Renji's arms so that his head rested lightly on the redhead's shoulder and one hand was placed on his chest.

"I'm just sorry we got interrupted," Renji whispered, kissing the noble softly on the mouth, "I liked sleeping next to you."

"I enjoyed it too," Byakuya breathed warmly against his chest, "And when I've recovered from this, we will continue in that direction…I hope."

Renji chuckled.

"If I have anything to say about it, we will."

He started to say more, but Byakuya winced and took a sharp breath, clutching at his midsection again. Renji frowned, worriedly.

"Taichou…really, I think you need a healer. I can send for Hanatarou…"

Byakuya started to reply, but let out a pained hiss and closed his eyes. Renji shook his head and climbed out of bed.

"No more arguments," he said calmly in the distressed taichou's ear, "We're going to the healing center. Can you walk or should I carry you?"

"Unhand me," the noble snapped, "I can manage."

He worked his way to his feet and waited as Renji tied the belt on his yukata. He leaned against the redhead and allowed himself to be helped out of the room and into the darkened street. They walked the short distance to the fourth division and were directed to an examination room. After a few minutes, Hanatarou entered the room.

"Kuchiki taichou, how can I help you?" he asked quickly.

"He's having abdominal pains," Renji offered.

"Abarai, I can speak for myself," the noble informed his fukutaichou.

He turned to Hanatarou, wincing as his abdomen twinged again.

"I…have been having pain for the last half hour," Byakuya told the healer.

"Please lie down and I will examine you," Hanatarou said.

Byakuya lowered himself onto his back and waited as Hanatarou opened his yukata and began to send his reiatsu into the noble's abdomen. Immediately, a confused frown played over the healer's face and he explored the area around the pain carefully. He finished the examination and looked up at Byakuya.

"Excuse me for a moment, Kuchiki taichou," he said, turning towards the door, "I will be right back."

The noble and the redhead followed with their eyes as he left the room.

"What do you think that's about?" Renji asked.

Byakuya shrugged and shook his head.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"A bit, perhaps," the noble answered softly, closing his eyes.

They fell into an anxious silence as they continued to wait. Several minutes later, the door opened and Hanatarou returned, followed by Unohana taichou. Unohana smiled warmly.

"Kuchiki taichou, I understand you are having abdominal pain?" she said, leaning over him and examining him briefly. She sent her reiatsu into the area and let it radiate in his body for several minutes, then glanced up at him questioningly.

"Did that relieve the pain?"

Byakuya nodded.

"I believe I can tell you what is causing this, but before I do, I need to know…Are you comfortable with Abarai fukutaichou being present for this?"

Byakuya frowned and looked up at her.

"Renji is my fukutaichou and my friend. You may speak freely in his presence," he said, looking unnerved.

"Very well," the healer said, nodding, "Hanatarou and I have both done a general examination and have come to the same conclusion. It seems, Kuchiki taichou, that you have become pregnant."

Byakuya's eyes widened and he caught his breath in realization.

"What?" Renji said, disbelievingly, "How is that possible?"

"It is the Seirei-Joumae," Byakuya explained.

"The…what?" Renji asked, stunned.

"The Seirei-Joumae…a spirit lock that forms between some Kuchiki nobles and their male lovers. It only occurs through the mutual opening of hearts during lovemaking…and a noble born may only form this connection with one other in his lifetime. It is not controlled by one's will, but happens on its own."

"So likely when the two of you were together, this spirit lock formed and your child was conceived," Unohana said, prompting a surprised look on Renji's part.

Byakuya touched the redhead's hand lightly and glanced at him warningly. Renji closed his wide-open mouth and fell silent.

"So…judging by your reactions, you are somewhat surprised. Do you need a moment to talk or shall we continue?"

Byakuya glanced at Renji.

"You may continue."

"It seems that this child was conceived about a month ago. Have you been having any symptoms? Any nausea, dizziness, power flares, cravings, fatigue or losses of consciousness?"

Byakuya sighed and nodded.

"I have had nausea, dizziness, fatigue…"

"And a craving for brownies, even though he doesn't like sweets," added Renji, "Oh…and ginger tea."

Unohana taichou laughed congenially.

"The ginger tea is likely a good thing to soothe the upset stomach. Peppermint also might help."

"So…what's going to happen? Will his stomach get big? How will the baby be born?" Renji asked excitedly.

"Renji, slow down," Byakuya said calmly, "Give her a moment to catch up with that barrage of questions."

"S-sorry Taichou. It's just that…well…it's so…unexpected! I can't help myself…"

"Maybe we should have a moment," Byakuya suggested.

Unohana nodded briefly and she and Hanatarou left the room. Renji turned back to Byakuya.

"This is good, isn't it, Taichou? I mean, your clan…aren't they always bugging you to have a baby?"

"Renji," Byakuya said softly, "You and I know that this child is not yours. We have never been together."

Renji frowned.

"I know that. I wasn't deluding myself, but it doesn't really matter, does it? You said that your lover left you and wasn't planning on coming back…and you weren't going to go to him. Taichou…does this mean that you've changed your mind?" the redhead asked solemnly.

Byakuya blinked.

"You mean…it doesn't matter to you who fathered the child?" he asked, sounding surprised.

Renji shrugged.

"Why should it?" he asked, "Taichou, you said he is gone and not coming back. I understand that you had this spirit lock with him and that you wouldn't be able to have a child with anyone else…but I was born in the Rukongai. Our families there were kind of thrown together based on survival. Many who were not blood related called each other family."

"And it doesn't bother you that if you and I began to see each other…that you would have to look at this reminder of the other person I was with?"

Renji smiled and shook his head.

"He hurt you, Taichou," the redhead said, his eyes softening, "but this baby is innocent. He or she has never hurt anyone. And, hey, it's not like I expected we would be able to have kids…it's just a really cool surprise."

"Then, even now, you want to continue to see me?" Byakuya asked quietly.

Renji smiled, leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Of course I want to continue seeing you, Taichou!" he said excitedly.

"You realize that he may return if he hears about the child, Renji."

The redhead smiled warmly.

"Then I'll kick his ass and send him packing," he offered.

He gazed into Byakuya's eyes for a moment, then sobered.

"Unless you think that you might want to go back to him?"

Byakuya's eyes grew shadowed.

"No," he said softly, "I cannot go back to him…not even if he returns. And he won't."

"You sound pretty sure."

"I am."

"Taichou, I have one more question. Why didn't you seem to want Unohana taichou to know that I am not the father?"

Byakuya met his eyes squarely.

"No one can know the identity of this child's father, Renji. I don't want anyone to know. I…am having difficulty accepting just how much of a fool he made of me. I would face…a great deal of embarrassment and criticism if his identity came to light. He is out of my life. I don't want him to come back."

"So you want me to claim to be the father?" Renji asked.

"No," Byakuya said quietly, "I don't want to ask you to lie for me."

"But you don't want anyone to know…"

"Well, you could simply fail to correct anyone who assumes…"

Renji smiled.

"Okay, Taichou…whatever you want me to do. Just tell me…"

Byakuya gazed at him gratefully.

"Abarai Renji," he said softly, taking the redhead's hand, "arigatou."

"It's nothing," Renji assured him, "I want to do this."

Byakuya nodded and squeezed his hand.

"Very well then. We had best have Unohana taichou give us more of an explanation."

Renji nodded and stepped out for a moment, returning with Unohana taichou. The healer smiled warmly at them.

"Have you worked things out now?" she asked.

"Yes, we have," said Byakuya, "We are pleased to have a child on the way, even with it being so sudden. We do have questions, however…"

"I'm sure you do. Ask anything you like."

"Well," said Byakuya, "I would like to know how the child will be born. There has not been a male pregnancy in the Kuchiki family for generations, so although I knew the process exists, I don't know the mechanics of it."

"I can assist you with that," the healer said, "In cases of male pregnancy, a chamber forms inside the male body and the child forms as a compacted ball of raw reiatsu. It is very unstable at first, which is why most male pregnancies are not carried to term. The reiatsu is slowly stabilized inside the male body, then emerges on its own. Free of the male body, the reiatsu then transforms into the body of a shinigami child. So, although you will experience many symptoms a woman would, you will not have the most obvious bodily changes. Your abdomen will thicken and form a small bump where the reiatsu is stored inside, but it will likely be barely noticeable."

"So, basically, no one will know he's pregnant?" queried Renji.

"The clan will know," Byakuya said softly, "They can sense the heir. They apparently haven't yet or they would have been at me asking…"

He stopped himself and a deeply troubled look came over his face.

"Kuchiki taichou, are you all right?" Unohana asked.

"Hai," Byakuya said, nodding, "Please continue."

"The gestation will be about the same as for a woman, because of the need to stabilize the reiatsu. You will have to be cautious, because of the unstable nature of the reiatsu. I would strongly suggest that you refrain from both battle and lovemaking until the birth. I know this will be difficult to ask, but you do wish to have a healthy baby and I am here to help you do that. I will give you a clearance form to return for desk duty only for the duration of the pregnancy."

The troubled look in Byakuya's eyes deepened and he sighed again. Renji touched him lightly on the arm.

"It's going to be okay, Taichou," he said softly, "I'll be right here with you, every step of the way."

Byakuya looked up at him and felt the weight on his heart lighten.

"Arigato, Renji," he said quietly, "I am glad to have you here with me."

Byakuya barely heard the rest of what was said. He half listened to Renji's barrage of questions asking for details on how to help care for him and added little more to the conversation. He answered the rest of the healer's questions and set a follow up appointment for the next week. He took the appointment card and clearance form and followed Renji back to the division office.

"I guess you're stuck letting me run things," Renji said happily.

Byakuya nodded.

"It seems so," he said, unenthusiastically.

Renji frowned and put an arm around him.

"You're not still worried about the father coming back, are you?" he asked.

Byakuya shook his head.

"I am just tired."

"Go lie down," Renji said quickly, "I'll make some tea for you. And then you can get some sleep."

He paused, studying the noble for a moment.

"If you want to be alone…"

"Oh…" said Byakuya, realizing the intent of the question, "Renji, of course, you are welcome to come to bed with me."

"Really?" the redhead said, smiling, "I'm glad, Taichou. I know that we are not ready to really start things between us, but I think even just sleeping next to you will be wonderful…and there's always later, after the baby is born for the rest, right?"

"Yes, there is," Byakuya said quietly."

Renji grinned.

"It kinda sucks waiting," he chuckled, "but I'll survive, I guess."

Still laughing softly, Renji turned and headed out of the room and toward the squad kitchen. Byakuya watched him leave, then entered his quarters and walked out onto the patio. He looked up through the clouds at the waning moon.

"What am I to do?" he whispered softly to the sky, "What if he finds out? What if he comes back? What am I to do?"

Tears burned in his eyes and silently overflowed. He loosed his misery in soft, soundless sobs, wrapping his arms around his midsection as though trying to protect what couldn't be protected.

"He set up my sister to die…and cut down Renji…and would have killed both Rukia and me. How could I be so stupid? How could I give myself to that monster?"

He nearly jumped out of his skin as Renji's arms wrapped around him from behind and the redhead's voice sounded in his ear.

"No wonder you seemed so out of it."

Byakuya rested, frozen and breathless in the redhead's strong arms.

"Don't worry Taichou. I won't say anything. No one will ever know that Aizen Sousuke fathered your child. Your secret is safe with me."

The promise was welcome and the words so much of a relief that his legs buckled beneath him and he dropped down onto his knees. Renji caught him and dropped down with him, holding him tightly and whispering into his ear.

"It will be all right, Taichou. No one will find out. No one will ever know…"


	10. The Refusal

**Chapter 10: The Refusal**

**(Aizen and Bya will be back in each other's orbit very soon! Thanks to SexyBVirgo (Aizen is already dreaming of his Bya and baby, and will suspect something very soon! In the meantime, there will be some Bya/Ren gentle fluff. Though once Aizen finds his way back to Bya, that 'no sex' thing is out the window!) Enjoy the chapter!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Do what you will. My words will never sound for you. You do not wish to hear their content, nor the pain beneath them. I will scream for as long as you desire, but there are some truths that should never be told.**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Abarai," Byakuya said, sipping at the hot ginger tea and leaning back against the redhead's warm chest, "how is it that you can do this? Most people would kill me on sight if they knew of this. How can you lie there and act as though it doesn't matter in the slightest?"

Renji laughed softly.

"Easy, Taichou. First, I know that you may be kinda cold blooded in a fight, but you are not a traitor. Second, this is a baby we're talking about. The poor kid hasn't even taken a breath yet and already there are tons of people just waiting to be his or her enemies if they learn who the kid's father is. I think the kid will need some backup. Besides," the redhead went on, "You're pretty damned cute when you're pregnant. You're even cute, bent over the toilet, throwing up. I don't know why, you just are."

Byakuya let out an amused breath.

"You are insane, Abarai," he said with mock disgust, "You do know you're going to be right next to me on the Soukyoku when this comes out, right?"

"No way," said Renji, "It will be all right. Just keep quiet about it and everyone will assume the kid is mine."

"Renji…Aizen won't be fooled if he hears. He…"

"Stop worrying over it now," insisted the redhead, "Get some rest and just let things go for a while. You're still in shock over finding out you're pregnant. And the stress is enough already without you worrying and adding more."

Byakuya nodded.

"You're right, of course," he said, barely stifling a yawn, "I haven't been able to think straight since I found out about this. But truly, you have made things much more bearable. Arigatou, Renji."

The redhead smiled.

"You're welcome, Taichou. Now, sleep, will you? I have a feeling that things are only going to get more stressful later on."

He ran his fingers gently through the noble's dark, silken hair and brought his head to rest on a warm shoulder. Byakuya fell asleep to the sound of the redhead's beating heart and the feel of a comforting hand rubbing his lower abdomen.

Long after the two had fallen asleep, Byakuya's abdomen began to glow softly. They woke to the soft pulsation of the area as the reiatsu inside the stunned noble reached sentience.

"What's happening?" whispered Renji, staring.

"It's the baby's reiatsu," Byakuya said breathlessly, "It has gained sentience! I can feel it, Renji…its consciousness. I can feel it!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Aizen Sousuke had fallen asleep in his window seat, while staring out at the stars. He moved little as he slept and his breath frosted the windowpane when he breathed out. His eyes moved restlessly under his eyelids and as he remained leaned against the window and bathed in starlight, he began to dream.

"_He is lovely, my Byakuya," he said, looking down at their newborn baby boy…a boy with black hair and dark gray eyes, but a face shaped like his and his smile, "and you look beautiful, holding him in your arms."_

_Byakuya looked up at him with wide, adoring eyes. But something was wrong. The eyes changed as they took him in and the noble's pretty mouth opened in a surprised breath._

"_No!" he said, standing and backing away, "Leave us alone!"_

"_Byakuya," he said softly, "I won't hurt you. I promise you. I only want to take care of you and our son."_

"_No," gasped the noble, his dark eyes filling with desperation, "Just go away! Leave us alone!"_

_He reached for Byakuya and the noble stepped back. It was then that it registered that they were standing on a precipice…and as Byakuya moved back, he stepped off of the edge and into blank space. He reached for the noble and caught a slender, pale hand. He could barely hold on, but he held on with all of his strength, looking down into Byakuya's frightened eyes._

_He couldn't pull them both up…but he had to try._

"_Hold on," he told the shaking noble, then he put everything into pulling._

_The soft hand in his suddenly slipped and, in a horrified heartbeat, pulled free. Byakuya fell soundlessly, still holding their child as he disappeared into the darkness._

"Byakuya!" cried Sousuke, sitting up suddenly.

He was still sitting in the window seat. He heard footsteps and his door opened.

"Aizen-sama," said his guard, gazing at him warily, "Is everything all right?"

He sighed and nodded, then waved the guard away. He returned to his bed, but could only sleep fitfully, and was constantly haunted by Byakuya's dark, frightened eyes.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya climbed out of bed in the early morning darkness and stumbled dizzily into the bathroom. He emptied his stomach, then sat with his back against the wall and his knees drawn up, leaning forward and resting his head on his curled arms. He breathed slowly and tried to doze as the nausea he felt came and went.

After a time, the feeling faded and he stood and moved to the shower. He stood quietly beneath the warm spray, feeling the touch of his baby's reiatsu and the presence of another consciousness inside him. It struck him as odd that, however much he might despise Aizen Sousuke for his lies and his crimes, he loved the feel of the little life inside him. He had resigned himself to the lonely task of admitting there would be no heir and had had to contemplate finding a suitable child among the sub families to bring to the manor for training.

But even having this child, he wondered how the transfer of leadership would work. He would have to name Renji as the child's father and the elders would recognize the Seirei Joumae and, most likely, force him to marry Renji. He didn't find the idea at all unpleasant. Renji had proven to be a very devoted friend and would make a very loving and devoted father. It would likely work out well…as long as Aizen Sousuke never learned that he had had a child.

It was likely that the traitor would die in his bid to overthrow the spirit king…in which case, he need not worry about him finding out. And even if he did not die immediately, the war would take time…and the more time that passed, the less the chance that Aizen would trouble himself to wonder about the noble he had seduced so many years before. Yes, it was better just to say nothing and to let things be as they were. Let them believe that Renji was his child's father and no one would bother about it anymore…

But he wondered if it could really be that easy…

He stepped out of the shower and dried off, reaching down and rubbing the small bump on his lower abdomen and sighing softly. This part, he decided, was not bad. Feeling this tiny life growing inside him was deeply enjoyable. He felt so much less alone in what had happened to him. He smiled as he wrapped a soft yukata around himself and started out into the bedroom. He found that Renji had already left hot green tea and fresh brownies for him before adjourning to the office to begin the day's work. He sat down and was contemplating the brownies, when a hell butterfly fluttered into the room.

"Byakuya-sama, the elders have sensed the sentience of an heir within your reiatsu. We require your presence at a special council meeting at nine o'clock this morning to discuss the implications of this, and to begin planning for the heir's birth."

He had known, of course, to expect it, but the reality of them knowing sent a chill up his spine. He busied himself, drinking the tea and eating the brownies Renji had left for him, then dressed and left his quarters.

He was slightly relieved that Renji was not in the office, but had left for a fukutaichou's meeting. It was easier not having to explain. But not wanting to leave Renji wondering at his absence, he left a short note telling Renji where he would be. He left the office and walked back in the direction of the manor, but then turned off early and made his way to the Kuchiki Council Hall. He climbed the front steps and passed between the solemn sentries, then into the lobby and on to the council chambers. His heart quivered slightly as he noticed that they were all present and waiting, even though he was early. It was obvious to him that they had met ahead of time to plan carefully for their meeting with him.

It didn't bode well at all…

"Byakuya-sama," said the head elder, standing, "we wish you congratulations on the conception of your heir. We do, however, have more than a few questions regarding this."

Byakuya nodded briefly and the two sat down at the meeting table with the rest of the elders.

"As you can imagine, I am sure, we first must know the name of the one who triggered the Seirei Joumae and caused you to be with child."

Byakuya looked up and began to tell them, but suddenly, the words froze inside him and he found he could not tell them. He stared in stunned silence, struggling internally to understand how he had lost control of himself…then wondered if the fact of the Seirei Joumae itself somehow made him unable to lie about it. He tried again, but the words still would not come. The councilors stared in surprise at him and the head elder asked him the question again. Realizing that he wasn't getting anywhere and not wishing to admit to having tried to deceive them, he instead took another avenue.

"I decline the council's request as to naming the father of my child…on the grounds that we are not together and the father does not wish to be a part of the child's life. I will be raising this child on my own."

"Byakuya-sama," said the head councilor, "with all due respect, you must name the father of the child. It will need to be noted in our historical record and in the clan record of his or her birth. You may, of course, ask that the information be kept private, but you must inform this council of the father's name and lineage."

"My deepest apologies," said Byakuya softly, "I regret that I am unable to comply with the council's wishes."

The head councilor stood.

"I think that you know," he said quietly, "that if you refuse such a thing, the council has leave to use force to obtain the information."

"You would torture me for the information?" Byakuya asked darkly, "What kind of beasts _are_ you? I told you that his identity doesn't matter. He won't be involved, so you don't need to…"

"That information is something the clan requires to be placed in your child's records. You must tell us…or we have no choice."

"No…"

The head councilor closed his eyes and bowed his head. Power flared around Byakuya as the council members combined their spirit energy and froze him in place. All were well aware that the clan leader was capable of breaking the hold placed on him. But determined to accept the consequences of his choice, He made no move to free himself. The head elder moved to his side and sealed his spirit energy away, then bound his hands. They rose together and led him out of the room.

He realized very quickly where they were headed and a hard chill went through his body. He tried to speak, but they had left him unable, so he was forced to walk silently along the streets of the Seireitei and back to Kuchiki Manor. They moved out through the garden, down the forest trail and past the waterfall. They crossed the meadow and led him into the forest beyond, then turned him toward Itamigiri.

He still remembered when Ginrei had brought him there after Aizen had taken him. He remembered as well that this was where he had learned of the Seirei Joumae. He followed the elders into the old stone building, up the long staircase and into the punishment room. They forced him to his knees and surrounded him, then the head elder stood in front of him and asked him again.

"Byakuya-sama, we will ask you for the last time…Who fathered this child?"

Byakuya bowed his head.

"I cannot tell you…and trust me…you do not want to know!"

"Insolence!" hissed the head elder, "You have always seemed to think yourself above the rules! You married a peasant and then forced us to accept another peasant into the family. You refuse to tell us what we must know. You give us no choice but to inflict pain to loosen your tongue."

Byakuya's eyes flared.

"You would endanger the heir!" he objected.

"No," said the head elder, "The punishments are carefully constructed so that we can inflict pain without endangering the heir. You must be made to understand that as our leader, you must set an example for others by conducting yourself according to clan rules. It is bad enough that you have become pregnant out of wedlock, but to refuse to give the father's name insults this council and invites shame upon our house. The punishment for this is the inflicting of pain until you give us the father's name so that it can be recorded in the family histories."

He turned to the other councilors, who now stood in a circle around him. All of them drew their zanpakutous and pointed them in his direction. They raised their reiatsu and one by one their weapons began to glow and created a white circle with him at the center. Light exploded around him and it took every bit of self-control he had not to cry out.

It felt as though a thousand knives had been driven into his unprotected body. He would have fallen, but the white ring held him frozen as the power rose around him and the pain assaulted him again. He held against it a second time, sweat breaking out on his forehead and his body shaking. The power struck him a third time and his control began to slip. A cry of pain erupted from him and he saw the resultant looks of smug satisfaction on the councilors' faces.

Another shock of pain registered and he felt his mind disappearing into it. He had reached the ends of tolerance and now quivered inside at the sound of his cries of pain as they echoed against the cold stone around them.

He could hear the head elder speaking to him again, but his chest heaved for breath and he couldn't answer. He sagged in his bonds as the pain struck him again and felt the room beginning to fade away around him. He thought he heard a loud, screeching roar and the room rocked from end to end as the rock walls seemed to explode around them. The councilors gasped in surprise, then scattered, breaking the circle around him and loosing him to fall, exhausted and still shaking onto the floor.

He heard what could only be Renji's voice, shouting at the councilors, and he could have cried at the sound of his fukutaichou defending him. He felt another familiar reiatsu with Renji and managed to lift his head slightly. Rukia stood at Renji's side with her weapon drawn. The skeletal snake curled around the three of them and Renji flash stepped closer and shattered the bonds that held him. He pulled Byakuya close and the words he said next warmed the aching noble to the core.

"You bastards are so fucked up that you've forgotten right from wrong! What the hell are you doing, attacking your own leader like that?"

"The clan is required to place the name of the father in our records," insisted the head councilor, "Byakuya-sama refused to do this and broke our rules, earning him this punishment. Now…unless you wish to taste our wrath, Abarai-san, you had best leave!"

"I'm not leaving without him! You freaks can do what you want, but I'm taking him!"

He wrapped an arm around Byakuya, pulling him to his feet and releasing the seal on his spirit energy.

"It's _you_, isn't it!" hissed the head elder, "_You_ are the father!"

Renji just glared at the head elder, pulled Byakuya close and flash stepped away with Rukia just behind him.

"Renji…" Byakuya whispered breathlessly as the redhead carried him back to the manor, "Renji…arigatou…I don't believe you…that was outrageous! They could have killed the both of you!"

Renji laughed softly.

"Screw those old bastards! I wasn't going to let them do that!"


	11. Crossed Signals

**Chapter 11: Crossed Signals**

**(Oh, do I ever have plans for this story! Something suggested by my woderful friend Walkure and something new for me. I'll set the stage for that here. This is going to be so much fun! XD Thanks to WinterStorm03 (Yup, that moment is here!) and SexyBVirgo (Oh, Aizen is on the way and once these two are back together, watch out!). Happy reading everyone!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**I didn't choose to bleed for you. You touched me and set me on the path to my destruction. With tender hands you placed me at the feet of the devil and his touch brought me agony. You never meant for any of this to happen, but now we are both torn.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Byakuya sat quietly with Renji at his side, watching calmly as the council of elders conferred across the table from them. He breathed slowly, his body relaxed, but his reiatsu burning sharply beneath his skin. Renji's presence, while a comfort to him, couldn't make him feel completely at ease, considering the decision being made and the ones sitting in the room with them making that decision. Renji's hand slipped into his underneath the table and he felt the anxiety ease. Eventually, the elders' conversation faded and the head councilor looked up at the clan leader and his fukutaichou.

"Byakuya-sama," the man said quietly, "We have given our consideration to this dilemma. As you know, we are not pleased at your reticence about naming the child's father, but as Abarai Renji has stepped forward, it is the decision of the council to accept him as your heir's father. It will be so noted in the family histories and clan records. As we have made this declaration…and with the understanding that you are already with child, the only respectable thing to do is to bind the two of you in marriage."

"What?" said Byakuya, only half believing his ears.

"It is the only sensible thing to do," explained the head councilor, "as you are bound to him by the Seirei Joumae and therefore are only able to conceive with him. I assume that you have no objections to this?"

Byakuya stared for a moment and felt Renji squeeze his hand meaningfully. His reverie shattered and he took a ragged breath.

"No," he said softly, "I have no objection to this."

"Very well," said the head councilor, "We will conduct the official ceremony tonight and have a family service and reception in a few weeks."

"But…tonight?" Byakuya said in a startled tone.

"Of course," said the head councilor, "We insist that this be done immediately to quell any criticism when your child is born."

Byakuya turned to look at Renji.

"Have you any objections?" he asked softly.

"Hell no, Taichou," Renji said, smiling, "Tonight works for me!"

"Very well, then," said the head elder, standing, "Fumio, you will act as wedding recorder. Ryuu, you will act as witness for Byakuya-sama and Arisu, you will act as witness for Abarai-san. We will arrive at Kuchiki Manor at five and will conduct the marriage then."

"V-very well," said Byakuya, forcing away a sudden, intense bout of nausea, "If the council has no other issues that require my attention, Renji and I will need to go and prepare ourselves."

The head elder smiled a little too widely.

"The council has concluded all relevant discussions. Arigato, Byakuya-sama."

Byakuya slipped a hand down to his midsection as he rose, then caught his breath sharply and dropped to his knees.

"Taichou!" Renji exclaimed, dropping down next to him.

Almost immediately, a clan healer flash stepped into the room and knelt next to the stricken noble. Byakuya continued to hold a hand to his midsection and leaned heavily against Renji.

"That's it, Taichou, just breathe a bit easier. It's gonna be okay. It's just the stress these bastards are putting on you. Don't let them get to you."

Byakuya nodded and squeezed Renji's hand.

"Are you experiencing pain, Byakuya-sama?" asked the healer.

"No," Renji snapped sarcastically, "He's sitting here painting his toenails! What the hell do you think? Of course he's hurting. Any idiot could see that. Stop asking stupid questions and help him!"

"It's all right, Renji," Byakuya said softly, inwardly warmed by the redhead's rough treatment of his obnoxious relatives, "It's not so bad now."

"You want to go to the fourth?" Renji asked.

Byakuya looked up at him and nodded. Renji slipped his arms around the weary noble and lifted him away from the reach of the shocked clan healer.

"What are you doing?" he asked shortly.

"Getting him the hell away from this place. I think you guys are the ones giving him a bellyache, so fuck off!"

He flash stepped away, leaving the clan healer and council members staring after them and shaking their heads solemnly.

"Hmmm…" muttered the head elder, "and we thought we had it bad when he married a peasant _girl_!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Sorry Taichou," Renji said as he carried Byakuya into the fourth division, "I know I wasn't supposed to say anything unless spoken to but…"

"You handled yourself brilliantly," Byakuya managed in a choked voice, "Arigatou, Renji."

"Hey…what are friends for, right?"

"You're about to become more than a friend," Byakuya reminded him, "Even if I am half dead, we are getting married tonight. You are used to your freedom…and I am still in knots over what happened with Sou-…with Aizen."

"I know that. And I don't expect anything. You're under enough stress as it is."

"Renji…what part of 'You are about to give up the rest of your life' do you not understand? You are a young…and a restless person. You need to…"

"I take care of my friends, Taichou."

"But I…"

"You may not have been a friend before, but you saved Rukia. And hell, you're the best-looking shinigami in the three worlds! What the fuck have I got to complain about?"

"Renji, I can't promise I'll love you the way you should be loved…I mean, I will as a friend…and as we'll be married, I will not have any other partners, but…you deserve someone who is able to love you with a whole heart. I don't have half a heart left. _He_ took everything…"

"That's not true," Renji said, setting him back on his feet in the lobby of the fourth division, "It feels that way now, but give yourself time…and remember, this baby is causing you to feel everything twice as much."

Byakuya sighed and shook his head softly.

"I am blessed to have you with me, Renji."

"May I help you?" the admissions clerk asked.

"Taichou is having abdominal pains. Unohana taichou and Hanatorou know his situation. Is one of them available?" Renji asked.

"Hai, I will take you to the examination room and Unohana taichou will be with you in a moment," the clerk said, nodding.

She led them into a room and set out a white yukata for Byakuya to change into. Byakuya waited until the clerk was gone, then slipped out of his clothes, flushing slightly as Renji reached around to stroke the small bump in his lower abdomen. Byakuya sighed and his eyes softened.

"What?" asked Renji.

"It feels wonderful when you do that," the noble said, placing his hand on Renji's, "It makes him move. Can you feel it?"

Renji nodded, his eyes twinkling.

"See Taichou, I told you it was just stress…first from contemplating that meeting all day…then from being around those idiots."

Byakuya yielded a small smile.

"I think you're right. I do feel much better now."

"Greetings Kuchiki taichou," said Unohana taichou from the doorway, "how can I assist you?"

"I was having abdominal pains…but they seem to be easing. I think it was stress."

"That may well be," the healer said calmly, "but lets have a look, just to be on the safe side."

Byakuya settled back onto the pillows and relaxed his body as Unohana taichou leaned over him and pushed back the yukata to examine his abdomen. She placed her warm hands over the place the baby's reiatsu lay beneath and sent her reiatsu into the area. She paused, focusing deeply, then sent more small pulses of reiatsu in and studied the area again carefully.

"You _have_ been under too much stress, Kuchiki taichou," she said firmly, "You must try to avoid it as much as you can. I am going to place you on a medical leave until you deliver. Your body was simply not built for having babies. Even though you hold reiatsu instead of a physical form, your body feels the strain and must compensate. Stress only compounds this."

"Very well…then I shall endeavor to avoid it as much as possible," he promised, "although tonight is likely to be stressful anyway."

"What is happening tonight?" the healer asked.

"Taichou and I are getting married," Renji told her, "The elders decided since I'm the only one who can get Taichou pregnant, they would give their permission for us to get married."

"And of course, they want to do this as soon as possible, ne?" Unohana said, smiling.

"Yeah."

She studied Byakuya for a moment, then turned to Renji.

"Abarai fukutaichou," she said softly, "Would you mind bringing some tea for Kuchiki taichou. He needs to relax a bit before I release him."

"Sure thing," Renji said, and flash stepped away.

Unohana smiled at Byakuya.

"So Kuchiki taichou," she said quietly, "Does Abarai fukutaichou know that this child is not his?"

Byakuya caught his breath softly.

"I did not see it before, but I can see it now."

"What?" Byakuya said, staring, "You…"

"It is the only thing that makes sense. You are obviously under stress about this wedding, but you seem committed to going through with it. And you and Renji are obviously very close, but what is between you seems more friendship than romantic love. But I worry for Abarai-san. He seems very attached to you."

"I know that," Byakuya said softly, "but the father of this child left me…and even if he came back, which he will not…I cannot be with him. So…Renji agreed to act as father to the child. And when he was named father before the clan, they insisted that I marry him tonight. I would rather that Renji was free to find someone who could love him the way he deserves, but he insists that he wants this."

"And what do you want? Are you ready to give up _your_ freedom? _Your_ future? _Your_ chance to be with someone you love romantically?" the healer asked.

Byakuya lowered his eyes.

"I had but one chance at that kind of happiness…and he left me. And he burned the bridges between us…so there are no more chances for me."

"I see," said the healer, nodding, "Kuchiki-san, I will impart a word of advice. Find what happiness you can…but remain as honest and open with Abarai-san as you are now…and things will be good for the two of you. As you know, many marriages in our society are not marriages of choice, but they can be loving relationships."

Byakuya nodded.

"Arigatou," he said softly, "I will keep that in mind."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Shatter, Kyoka Suigetsu," Aizen Sousuke said softly, watching as the illusion of himself broke free and walked away. He turned and left the throne room, slipping quietly through the long hallways, out the great doors at the front of the fortress and away into the desert. He did not open a garganta but made his way by flash step to the shinigami base, then slipped unnoticed through the senkaimon there. He passed into the Seireitei and turned toward the sixth division.

The building was dark when he arrived, so he used the illusion to hide himself as he slipped inside and sat waiting. After a time, the door opened and two shinigamis entered the room.

"So did you hear about Kuchiki taichou and Abarai fukutaichou?" one asked the other.

"No…what about them?" the second asked.

"I heard that they are getting married at Kuchiki Manor right now! I heard it from one of the servants who works there."

"No shit! Kuchiki taichou and Abarai fukutaichou? Really? I didn't even know there were close like that!"

"They had a lot of people fooled. Everyone's real surprised, but I hear it was the elders that made them do it, because Kuchiki taichou is pregnant."

"Wh-what?" said the other, "He's a guy!"

"Yeah, no shit…but apparently there's something with certain nobles that makes it..."

The door rattled and another officer burst in.

"Don't you two have reports to do?" he asked sharply.

"Yes sir!" answered the other two, scrambling to their desks.

Aizen slipped out the door and stood outside the sixth division, his eyes wide.

"Could it be?" he whispered softly.

He shook his head and turned in the direction of Kuchiki Manor.

XXXXXXXXXX

"We are gathered together to witness the union of Kuchiki Byakuya and Abarai Renji" said the head elder, solemnly, "Marriage is a sacred bond…a deep and soulful decision. It should only be entered by those who feel called to take on those bonds. For those are the bonds of true love…and where they are found, there is richness of life, happiness and contentment, even amid difficulty. It is not to be entered lightly or without truth. Therefore, I will ask the both of you…do you come into this marriage clear of heart and resolved in purpose?"

"We do," Byakuya and Renji said together.

"Then join hands and pledge your vows to one another."

He paused, then looked at Byakuya.

"Kuchiki Byakuya, do you take Abarai Renji to be your lawfully wedded spouse…to have and to hold from this day forward? Will you love, honor and cherish him for as long as you both shall live? For richer and for poorer? In sickness and in health? Will you remain true to him, forsaking all others…for all of the days of your lives?"

Byakuya stared down at their joined hands, his eyes intense and his heart pounding wildly.

"I…" he whispered, "I…"

His hands began to shake and Renji stroked them gently to calm him. He took a shuddering breath.

"Taichou," whispered Renji, "It's okay…if you can't do this, just say so. I promise it will be okay."

"I…" Byakuya gasped, his eyes tearing, "Renji…I'm sorry…I can't…"

He disappeared in a flash step, leaving the stunned elders staring at the place he had been. He ran heedlessly then…through the streets of the Seireitei…into the Rukongai and out to the shinigami fortress at the border between worlds. He burst through the checkpoint and crossed over into Hueco Mundo, then continued out of the fortress and across the dark sands. He realized where his feet were carrying him and slid to a stop, his heart still racing madly. He couldn't be doing this, couldn't be going to Las Noches…to a man who had betrayed everyone…to an enemy. But the Seirei-Joumae had hold of him and it took him into flash steps again. He closed in on the fortress and came to a stop at the main guard post. He stood, catching his breath as the hollow guard stepped forward, glaring at him.

"What is your business here…_shinigami_?" he demanded.

"I am here to see Aizen Sousuke," Byakuya said firmly, "He will want to see me."

"And see you, he will," said a soft, mocking voice.

Byakuya met the silver-haired shinigami's eyes angrily.

"I don't have time for games, Gin," he said in a low voice, "Sousuke will want to see me as soon as possible. It is a matter of great urgency."

Gin laughed softly.

"Very well, Kuchiki-san," he said slyly, "Take him to the _waiting room_."

The guards stepped forward and took hold of the noble's wrists.

"What are you doing?" Byakuya gasped, "Gin, tell them to let go!"

Gin laughed.

"Oh, no, Kuchiki-san, I wouldn't dream of not allowing them to have their fun…"


	12. Broken Pieces

**Chapter 12: Broken Pieces**

**(Thanks so much to WinterStorm03 (Sousuke is on the way, and what happens when he arrives will be...well, you will see!) and SexyBVirgo (That was a close call, but now that Aizen knows about the baby, fluff and romance/sexy comforting will soon commence!) Enjoy the new chapter!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**You called me, but I could no longer hear. I lay, quiet and listening, but your voice could not penetrate the darkness around me. You stepped inside to set me free…but were only pulled into the darkness as well.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Aizen Sousuke slipped quietly past the manor guards and into Byakuya's private residence. He moved through the foyer and out into the gardens, where he imagined the wedding would most likely be held. Oddly, though the wedding should have been in progress, people were milling about and forming small clusters as they pondered what had happened.

"Poor Abarai-san," said one noble woman, "I know Byakuya-sama shouldn't have been marrying a commoner and a male at that, but I rather like Abarai-san."

_Did something happen to Renji then?_

But Renji stood a short distance away, talking hurriedly with a guard.

"Look, we need to find him. He was overwhelmed by everything. He just wasn't ready for this. The elders pushed him into this and being that he's pregnant and facing all sorts of odd shit, he freaked out a little and bolted. Hell, I think I'd freak out too. These people are nuts!"

So…he couldn't go through with it. Does this mean that even though I misled him…even though I feigned my death and left him behind that…kami…could Byakuya still care for me?

He honed in on the noble's reiatsu and found it heavily disturbed.

He was in great difficulty…because of me. I thought it would be better to leave him behind and let him rebuild his life without me in it…but I didn't know we made a child. And now he's running, but to whom?

He followed the reiatsu trail across the grounds and out of the gardens…down the dark forest trail…to the rushing waterfall, then down the cliff face to the open meadow. And the meadow ran out to near the border, where the crossover point into Hueco Mundo lay. He followed the reiatsu to the checkpoint, then into Hueco Mundo, careful to remain invisible. Once he followed the trail through the base and out again, he realized where the noble had been headed and felt a bolt of panic.

He went…to Las Noches! He came to tell me? After everything…he wanted to tell me? Could he truly mean to forgive me?

It suddenly occurred to him that with him away, the ones who greeted Byakuya could trouble him. He moved in flash steps then, racing across the sand, following the path that the noble had taken before him. He gained the entrance to Las Noches and halted at the guard post.

"Where is Kuchiki Byakuya?" he asked sharply, "I know he came here to see me. Tell me where he is."

The guard blinked slowly.

"Ichimaru Gin ordered him taken to a holding cell…to await your arrival, Aizen-sama."

Aizen frowned.

"I am deeply displeased. Send word that he is not to be harmed and that I am on my way to see to his release."

The guard looked back at him with guarded eyes.

"Hai, Aizen-sama," he said, scurrying away.

Aizen flash stepped into the fortress and paused as Gin appeared atop the grand staircase.

"Oh, Sousuke…back so soon? You have a visitor."

Aizen's frown became deadly.

"If Byakuya has been harmed, you will suffer the same fate as him!"

"What do you mean? He showed up here unexpectedly…an enemy taichou. I had him removed for questioning…and to await your arrival…as is protocol. I was not aware that you had special instructions for him. My apologies…"

A heavy jolt of something that felt like fear passed through the leader of the hollows and he turned and flash stepped all of the way to the prison level. As he reached the guard post, he heard coarse laughter. Anger flaring inside, he drew his zanpakutou and followed the sounds into the interrogation room. As he entered the room, he came upon a group of guards surrounding a prisoner, who laid across an examination table on his stomach. One look at the kido bound taichou and the hollows assaulting him and Aizen's anger became a deadly rage.

His weapon decapitated a guard who leaned over the restrained noble, pushing his thighs apart and attacking him from behind. The ones gathered around died as well, his weapon taking them so quickly, they barely had time to scream before death was upon them. He kicked them aside and shattered the bindings that held Byakuya, turning him onto his back, pulling him close and calling his name.

His heart nearly stopped at the blank, detached expression in the large gray eyes, at the deep bruising that had turned much of the lovely, pale skin, purple and black, the long, jagged red lines where the hollows' claws had raked his skin. His torn clothes and the kenseiken lay discarded on the floor and drenched with the blood of the dead guards.

He lifted the broken body cautiously and flash stepped to the infirmary, hissing orders to the healers as he arrived there and shocking them into motion. He set the unconscious noble down on the examination table and stood back, allowing the head of his healing staff to examine Byakuya.

"They worked him over badly, Aizen-sama," the eldest healer said in a low, shocked voice, "I am surprised he survives."

"He is with child," Aizen said quickly, "You must make sure the child's reiatsu has not been affected."

"Sir," said the healer, "I am sorry…but I am barely sensing the child's reiatsu. I will, of course, check again when he is stabilized…if he can be stabilized, but I would not dare to hope. It's ambitious enough to hope he, himself will live."

Aizen's face paled, but he nodded, calm slowly returning and inevitability settling over him. He watched numbly as the healers tried to connect with the small spark of life left in the noble. Byakuya's body shuddered softly several times, but for the most part laid limp and still, his eyes closed and his reiatsu dangerously depleted. Gradually, the healing began to knit together broken bones and damaged tissues, to gently erase the heavy bruising and to leave the pale, slender body looking as it had before the denizens of the fortress had laid their claws upon it.

When the healing ended, Aizen sat, quietly fuming, his eyes locked on the noble and his heart broken over the damage done to him. He thought back to the stunned, light headed feeling that had passed through him as he learned of Byakuya's condition…then of how quickly that lovely feeling had disappeared and the darkness had set in around them again. For a moment, it had seemed as though Byakuya had wanted to talk to him, to tell him of the child they had made together…and then…what?

But there was nothing to be done or considered now. However Byakuya had been feeling before, those feelings would be gone now and Byakuya was going to despise him. And, he realized darkly, as much as the beautiful noble might hate him for the loss of their child at the hands of the hollows, it couldn't compare to how much he hated himself for it.

There was, it seemed, no end to the price he would pay for his arrogance. Because, as much as it had been as he perceived it, unfair the way commoners were treated in relation to their noble peers…it wasn't something this man should have had to pay for.

_You should never have come here…should never have left the safety of the Seireitei and crossed into this land of monsters. I was strong enough to yoke their strength and to control them so that I could bring them to bear on the vacuous king and the ones who supported him, but in doing that, I exposed myself and anyone who came here with me to their blackness…to the chance they would turn on me and strike me down instead._

In retrospect, he found it odd that to seek fairness and justice, he would turn to creatures both foul and incapable of conceiving of justice and right. He had thought of them as a means to an end, but now realized that the ends didn't justify the means. Here laid a person who had been unique among the nobles, because he _didn't_ hold himself above the commoners. Byakuya had married a peasant woman…and another commoner was a close friend and had almost become a spouse. Obviously, he didn't hold with the idea that nobles were better, in some way than commoners. Yet, while his noble peers sat in their lovely, expensive homes and enjoyed the privilege of being held above the laws of the land, this noble had suffered a brutal attack because he…Aizen Sousuke…one of those commoners the noble had considered aligning himself with, had made a huge error in judgment. It was something he couldn't go back on, now that it was done. He was committed to seeing it through, no matter how his perceptions might have changed, due to Byakuya's influence.

He studied the noble's troubled expression and felt a weariness steal over him. And he wondered why he had been given such power and such passions. He had thought it a good thing to fight injustice…and it still seemed an important thing to do…but what he had learned…in the most painful of ways…was that, even when fighting injustice, one should refrain from using injustice and wrongness to combat the same. It was something Byakuya would have told him, or shown him, had he been open to receiving the message. He shook his head softly, looking down at the unconscious noble and wondering if there was any hope of coming back after falling so far.

He thought back to when he had reached out and become one for the first time with Byakuya. It had, of course, been wrong to take advantage, but there had been beauty in the exchange of their passions. And each time he came close to Byakuya after that, something inside him longed to seek that beauty again. He wondered if he could leave Las Noches and go somewhere safe…if he could wrap himself deeply enough in Byakuya's arms to make everything else disappear, to make the darkness in his heart fade…if he could learn to forgive and to have compassion again.

But those were things reserved for those for whom hope had not been lost…for those who had endeavored to preserve peace in their society, while also doing their best to change what was wrong. He had thought it necessary to throw off the entire system, to use the strength he had been given to make things wholly new. And he had thought that sacrificing the lives of the corrupt councilors of Central 46…of using the evil hollows was just a necessary evil in his attempt to make things better. But now that he looked at it again…the councilors themselves did not make the laws, but simply enforced them…and the hollows, though allies for now, were not friends…and would not support him once he became king.

And his whole attempt to right things had, ironically, it seemed, darkened his own soul. And that being the case, who was he to think that he would be any better than this king who shut himself away in the spirit dimension and did not trouble himself with the quality of the lives of the ones he led? Shouldn't a leader care about _all_ of his subjects, noble or not?

And who did Aizen Sousuke care about? Had he shown his commitment to caring for his people by murdering some of them to make a point? And was it caring for them to use such creatures as the hollows against them just to obtain a higher position? He had thought of these as necessary sacrifices, but were they really? And if they helped him to become king, did the end then truly justify the means he had used to achieve it?

"Aizen-sama, there are shinigamis marching out from the base," a messenger told him, "The others wish to know what action you desire we should take."

_So now the hollows will take more lives, irrespective of whether it is right or not, whether the ones taken are good people or not. And how does this bring us closer to the vision I followed?_

"Monitor their movements and repel whatever attacks they make."

"We should not go out to meet them?" the messenger asked.

"Of course not," he said quietly, "Why waste effort and lives going to them when it isn't necessary. Let themselves waste their effort and lives as they will. They will not breach the fortress."

"As you wish, Aizen-sama," the messenger said, turning away.

_I hear it clearly now…_he thought darkly, _the grudging tolerance they give to me…respecting my power, but not truly aligning themselves with me. They are dangerous allies, these hollows. If I didn't see that before, I see it now. It is inscribed on Byakuya's body, even though the signs have been erased with healing light. This noble…this shinigami…this person…may lose something dear because of my arrogance…and there is nothing I can do to take it back._ _When he wakes, he will hate me for it…but in the meantime, I will hold him and try to remember what beauty feels like. Because that, more than anything else, is what I am losing, in taking this path I have chosen._

He slipped his hand into the unconscious noble's and rested his face against it, closing his eyes and sighing softly.

"I am sorry," he whispered, "I would never have wished this on either of us…but now, it seems that we are perhaps fated to be joined in loss. Rest now. There is time enough to hate me for what I've done later."

He let everything fade from his mind then and focused deeply on the silent, sleeping reminder of what had once been, but had been lost and would not come back to him. But even in the darkness of the moment, there was some hope. As long as Byakuya still lived and breathed, they could move forward. And as long as _he_ lived and breathed, he could continue to try to right the things that had gone wrong in between them…

It wasn't much, but he held onto it stubbornly as was his way…

"Aizen-sama," said the healer, interrupting his thoughts and gazing at him through troubled eyes, "Kuchiki taichou has stabilized, but will need a long period of rest to recover."

"And the child?"

"He is still alive, but there is a problem."

_He?_

_A son?_

"Kuchiki taichou's body was heavily damaged and cannot support the pregnancy. A decision must be made about what to do."

"What to do?" Aizen asked wearily, "What do you mean? Are you asking me to choose between them?"

"Not exactly," said the healer, "There...is another option."

"Oh? You don't mean to hollowfy them?" Aizen said, frowning, "Byakuya would rather they both died."

"I wasn't speaking of hollowfication," the healer said, meeting his eyes respectfully, "I was speaking of the means the hollows have used in some situations like this to implant the child's reiatsu within a surrogate parent."

"A surrogate?" Aizen mused, "You can do this? And our son will survive?"

"Yes. In this way, it is possible to save them both...but...we would have to find the surrogate quickly, sir. Kuchiki taichou is barely stabilized and could decline quickly if we do not act soon."

"I see," said the leader of the hollows, "Then, prepare for the procedure."

"You...already have someone in mind?" the healer asked, looking surprised.

"Yes," Aizen said calmly, "I do."

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya felt the darkness recede and beneath his closed eyes, felt the taking and leaving of breath again. He was still alive then. He hadn't been sure the hollows wouldn't simply eat him and leave no trace behind.

Aizen Sousuke, then, must have returned in time to stop it. But although he had been spared, he felt the disappearance of the baby's reiatsu…the soft retreat of that soul that had grown beneath his. He was alone again…and surrounded by enemies…far from home and even if not for that, lost.

He wondered how it could be that a creature who had never even drawn breath, but had lived the whole of its brief existence inside him…how could that tiny being have taken so much upon its leaving? Because he didn't just feel the loss in his heart. It was experienced over the whole of his newly healed body…and it left him unable to move or speak, trapped within this silent reverie. And as hard as he tried, he couldn't break it. It was as though his body knew that his heart and mind weren't strong enough yet to shoulder the weight of it. So he remained removed from it, locked away from the outside world in this safe place where nothing could reach him.

Things registered…touches, voices, thoughts…all whispers in the deep calm around him. But they held no power and had no bearing where he was now. He might, he thought, just drift in this place forever. While here, he didn't have to think about the cost of what he had done. He knew that whatever Renji might say, his choice to run…and to run to Aizen Sousuke, had to have hurt his fukutaichou.

_No_, he thought, _It hurt my friend. He was unselfish enough to sacrifice ever having a lifelong love of his own…and I showed him my gratitude by running…and running to Aizen Sousuke._

_I deserve this misery…_

_I brought it on myself…_

_Why am I still here?_

_Why am I still breathing?_

_Why did I not disappear with that beautiful dream that just couldn't be?_

_Why?_

"Byakuya," said Aizen's voice, and he felt a warm hand slide into his, "Do not despair. Despite what you think, there is still hope...for you, for me and for our child."

Aizen's hand guided his to touch soft, heated skin, and shock flooded his resting body as he felt again that throb of life resonating gently under his limp palm. New life flooded his tormented body and he forced his eyes open. They traveled down the length of his arm to where his hand rested, then rounded as his breath caught and disbelief sent a jolt of numbing shock through him.

"A-aizen Sousuke!" he gasped, stiffening, "Sousuke, what have you done?"

He stared in amazement at where his hand rested, in beneath the other man's clothes.

"You were injured too badly to carry our child to term," Aizen said quietly, "So, I had him taken from your body and put into the safest place that exists here. Our child will not die, Byakuya. You, the child and I will all survive. I promise you, we will all survive this. You have my word."

_This cannot be happening!_

_I must be dreaming._

_The baby was lost and my mind snapped in its desperation._

_It cannot be._

_It couldn't be._

_Aizen Sousuke, betrayer of Soul Society and would-be usurper of the three worlds...cannot be holding our child inside him._

_I couldn't bear the loss and I have slipped into a daze, because he can't be looking at me with those eyes and making these promises. It is only what I wish could happen. My broken mind aches for hope that isn't there anymore. The child is gone...lost...and I must be dying. That is the only answer, the only possibility._

_Because there is no way..._

_no way, by any stretch of the imagination,_

_that his wicked body could protect and nurture something of such beauty._

_Not even the Seirei-Joumae could make that happen...ever!_

"Byakuya?" Aizen voice said questioningly, as the noble's eyes slid shut again and the monitors around him began to complain ominously, "Byakuya...Byakuya, you are not going anywhere. I might not yet be king, but I am determined that none of the three of us is leaving. Byakuya? Byakuya!"

_Am I really dying?_

_I have never, ever heard Aizen Sousuke sound like he was afraid before._

**(Yup, you're not dreaming! I stepped over that line and I am not going back. You read it here first! Starfire is going to make Aizen Sousuke the strongest, sexiest mpreg ever. I am trying new things, so let's see how this flies, okay? And Walkure, thank you so very much for the inspiration. You've got me breaking all kinds of mental chains now. When I'm through being petrified, this will be really great! *hugs*)**


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